Why Do Relationships Not Work Out? 20 Women Reveal The Moments They Knew Theirs Were Over
In an ideal world, you'd meet the love of your life, immediately hit it off, and then live happily ever after together until the end of the time. But, alas, that's not the way the cookie always tends to crumble. But why? Why do relationships not work out?! Well, the answer to that question differs from relationship to relationship and, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, women shared all of their vastly different explanations for what caused the breaking points of each of their relationships.
He demanded she get up to clean after cooking a big meal for them.
My bf had been controlling but I lived with him and he paid the bills so I dealt with it. One night his friend came over and I made us all a big dinner. We all ate and we’re sitting around in a food coma. My bf tells me that I needed to get up and do the dishes/clean the kitchen. I thought to myself, I made this whole dinner, the least you can do is help me clean but whatever. I told him that I would, but I was full and wanted to wait a little bit. He demanded that I get up NOW and clean. I looked at his friend and he looked at me. He looked so embarrassed that his best friend was being this way to his girlfriend. I wasn’t even mad. I said no problem and with a smile I got up and cleaned the entire kitchen, because I made up my mind right then and there that I was leaving him. And I did. It did not go well. But I got out.
She realized his definition of "ripping off" was way off.
He came home from work and declared that some guy “tried to rip him off”.
Upon further review.. guy was supposedly one of his good friends, he had loaned him $5, and was pissed that the guy didn’t pay him back that day (on payday).
Sounds super minuscule, but it was something so small and he played the biggest victim over it. Talking about how he hopes his “friend” rots in hell, how dare he try to rip him off, “no one gets away with disrespecting me like that”.
It was $5 for lunch to a friend/coworker that, in the beginning of our relationship, he had claimed was one of his best friends.
That’s when I knew I couldn’t put up with that kind of... whatever the f*ck it was.
He told her he didn't want to have sex after she had their twins.
Gave birth to our twins. Told me he didn't want to be intimate with me as much as he use to because, "...your body has changed a lot."
There were other reasons too, he eventually cheated on me with an ex girlfriend of his and he was really controlling, but that was a pretty big step in the NOPE direction.
She realized she did want kids, even though he didn't.
He didn’t want kids, and I thought I could live with that. One day I bought a book, went to put it with my little library and just stood there admiring my collection... and thinking about leaving it to my kids one day. That’s when I knew I really wanted kids, and it wouldn’t work out with him.
He told her friends that he didn't feel like telling his family about her.
He said in front of a group of my friends that he “didn’t want to explain my existence to his family for 45 minutes”
A comment her friend made caused her to second guess her own relationship.
My ex had a large group of fantastic friends. Some of the most fun and awesome people I've ever met - couples and singletons alike. I remember getting ready for one of our couple friends' wedding with a fellow group gf and she started telling me about how things were going in her relationship. She was telling me how crazy it was that "she just knew" and how exciting and comforting it was, and I was not buying it. I distinctly remember saying, "That's not true. It's just something people say to justify their decisions... everybody has doubts. It's impossible to "know" - it's romantic BS." It was something I'd felt for a long time, but after hearing how earnest she was and seeing the pity in her reaction, I kind of second-guessed myself...
Things ended soon after that, and a little while later, I met someone and I knew.
He told her he didn't like her family.
He admitted that he really didn't like my family all that much. That was the key that told me withstanding HIS family wasn't worth it if he wouldn't do the same for me, and led me to soon conclude that my family was more important than my relationship with him. Which was great, because i married the next guy: he and my family get along swimmingly, and i adore his mom.
He drugged baby birds because he thought it was "funny."
The one that I still think about sometimes is when the guy I was dating told me a story about how one time he was smoking weed on a balcony, found a nest with baby birds and blew weed smoke into the baby bird mouths... He thought it was hilarious...
He didn't respect her wanting to spend time with her family.
He was bummed that I wanted to spend time with my family for a little bit the day of his birthday, after I spent the entire previous day celebrating his birthday and spent the night at his place. I came home from college for his party that Saturday and then had to go back Sunday due to 6am practice on Monday. It was my first time coming home in a couple months. It just showed that he really didn’t have any empathy and that he would never understand how close I am with my parents. I understand if you aren’t close with your own but you shouldn’t expect me to start treating my parents like you treat your own.
After four years together, he didn't realize she loved to dance.
Around our four year anniversary, we went to a wedding for a cousin of mine. Spent the whole night dancing. I loved every minute of it. When we left, he told me “I never knew you liked dancing so much”.It sounds lame. We were kinda on our way out to begin with but that was the final straw. To have seriously dated for four years and not know something about me as simple as my love of dancing. Made me realize that he didn’t really know me at all.
He said that he would put her in a home.
He told me that if I inherit Alzheimer’s like my mother he would put me in a home. (This is actually what I want if euthanization wouldn’t be an option, but I certainly don’t want my partner to volunteer on their own for me to go into a home.) And if I were on my death bed he would only be by my side if I was actively dying, like the same day, otherwise he would need to be at work.Many red flags and problems led to such dramatic questions. But when I had the answers all my feelings of love died right there.
He got mad at her for not telling him when she was going to bed.
I woke up one morning to 74 text messages and 17 missed calls because I went to be early without “telling him.” Byyyee. He had been doing little things to become more and more controlling and that was the final straw for some reason.
She started to develop feelings for someone else.
I began to have feelings for someone else. And instead of cheating on my significant other, who was a great guy just not the right match for me, I decided to break up with him and move out.
The thought of leaving him alone with their future children scared her.
When the thought of him having to take care of our kids, when I'm not there or if I died, scared the hell out of me. I don't have kids, but we were engaged to be married, and he wanted kids right away.
He was rude to her mom.
I told him I thought I was ready to lose my virginity to him but it would have to happen in two weeks because we were literally about to leave for a family trip where we would share a hotel room the whole time and he got mad and told me"Why did you even bother telling me now?? It's like saying I can have icecream but I can only get it in two weeks"Then while on the family trip my mom called him out for being sh*tty to me for something that was his fault (he had wondered off without telling anyone and then got pissed when he tried to call us and no one had signal) and he got really angry and yelled in her face and was being super disrespectful to my mom. If I didn't know before, I knew then. No one treats my mom like that.I made it through the rest of the trip and we broke up a few weeks after we got home.There were lots of other sh*tty things he did to me that I could talk about but those two really pushed me over the line. I knew he only saw me as something to f*ck and he disrespected my mom who is a literal saint. I should've known from the start when my dog didn't like him.
He forwarded another girl's nude pictures to his friends.
Ex bf got a nude pic of his college mate from her vengeful ex. He forwarded it to his other friends. I should've left him there and then.
She didn't see herself in the relationship for as long as he did.
We were driving back from a movie, and he was talking about the trailers we saw, and how excited he was to see one of the movies with me. It was coming out nine months later. And I was just like, holy f*ck. He sees us as being together for that long. And I didn't. I knew then that I was going to end it.
He made one super offensive comment.
We had been together for about two months and we were visiting the monuments in DC. He lived there but I had never been, and I was beyond excited. When we got to the Reflecting Pool, I mentioned I had wanted to see this since I watched Forrest Gump years prior. He said, “I don’t like that movie.” Ummm who doesn’t like Forrest Gump? I jokingly responded that way and said, “It’s such a great movie though!” And he responds with, “Who wants to watch a movie about some retard?!” I broke up with him three days later.
She realized they didn't care about each other equally.
When he said "I never want to come over, but I'm always glad I do." I realised I don't mean as much to him as he did to me.
If there's one lesson to be learned here, it's this: everyone's answer to this question was wildly different. And for good reason! Your straw that broke the camel's back may be totally different from any of the stories above. What matters is that you realized, in your heart of hearts, that something wasn't working and you got out.
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