Does the word "coffee" make your heart skip a beat, no matter what time of day it is? Without coffee, you couldn't espresso yourself (Literally!) because you don't know who you are without the delicious ingredients that make up your perfect cup of Joe. When you're a coffee snob, you not only have your caffeinated drink down to a science, but you're the subject of the whispers among the baristas at your favorite coffee shop.
Don't take the "snob" portion the wrong way; you are picky about your caffeinated beverage, and that's totally OK. You're the person taste-testing before you leave the coffee shop, and know that an ill-prepared coffee is a complete and utter tragedy. You even have your go-to barista who makes your drink, because they already know not to forget that extra pump of vanilla. Last time, that pump-less drink almost ruined your entire day until you made an impromptu coffee run at lunch. Yes, you actually ran.
There's no telling how you got this way, but if you are nothing else, you're an advocate for great coffee. If you're laughing between sips of your coffee while reading this, I've described you pretty accurately and there's no way you won't relate to these 10 things.
You're an expert when it comes to your coffee. Even a fraction of a sip can allow you to detect what's missing. You've been that person who makes a U-turn back to your coffee shop, because there's way too much foam in your cup and not enough espresso.
You know what place makes your coffee just right, aside from your lovely kitchen at home. When your friends recommend getting coffee somewhere else, you are hesitant. Not all coffee is created equal, and you'll debate this fact until the end of time. There are rules to this.
That seasonal pumpkin-flavored frappuccino is all the rage for some, but where are you in the fall? You're in line at your favorite coffee shop still ordering the masterpiece you look forward to every day. New coffee trends don't amuse you, and you're OK with that.
Maybe this is just a mental thing, but your coffee seems incomplete without your favorite mug. It doesn't add anything to the taste, but you're in a coffee wonderland when you're sipping away. Also, you're not OK with anyone else using your mug.
Hey, what are work wives for if not to ease that worry of putting your coffee order in the wrong hands? She knows you, and she's not going to forget any detail you've written down for her. You have her back, too.
There's nothing like the smell of coffee first thing in the morning. That might be your only incentive to get up and out of your cozy bed. On the weekends, though, you're enjoying that coffee surrounded by your plush pillows and warm covers.
You need a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for what I said when I didn't have my coffee yet." You try to avoid all human contact, except the barista, because you are your evil twin without that macchiato. The people closest to you know this all too well.
Sharing a pot of coffee is fine, but once you've stirred together all of your favorite things into your mug, it's off limits. Do people understand how much work you put into that? You would say that you put your blood, sweat, and tears into it, but that'd throw off the ingredients and caramel drizzle.
Your order is a tongue twister, and your friends tease you about it. Perfection doesn't come easily, though, and that's why you don't mind repeating your order at least three times so it comes out right. If you had a dollar for every time you heard, "Please repeat that," you'd be pretty rich by now.
You know the old saying, "There's no use of crying over spilled milk?" Well, when there's coffee mixed with that milk, it's hard to hold back the tears. It's like watching all of your hard work go to waste in a matter of seconds.
There's nothing wrong with being a coffee snob. You put your heart into what you're sipping and get nothing but love in return.
