When Your Ex Reaches Out To You Years Later, Here's What Real Women Say It's Like

By
Share

Let me paint you a little picture here. You get dumped. Brutally, brutally dumped. Needless to say, the breakup leaves you heartbroken and devastated. You spend months and months mourning the loss of your relationship until, finally, one day, you wake up feeling a little better. You're finally feeling like yourself again and putting yourself back out there, when, like clockwork, your ex reaches out to you.

WTF are you supposed to do? Well, for starters, you could learn some lessons from the experiences these women shared in a recent thread, based on their own stories of exes reaching back out to them out of the blue.

She laughed with her fiancé about her ex's message.

One dude I dated like four years ago reached out to me randomly in the last few months. He complained about women and dating to me, told me how great he’s doing, and called himself a lone wolf. My fiancé thought it was hilarious. Eventually I stopped responding.

/u/Jilltro

She knew better than to let him back into her life.

Dated him for 4 years, he was my first love and broke my heart countless times. He reached out to me over two years after leaving me and getting engaged 3 months later (surprise - they didn't work out) He didn't even apologize, just wanted to "check up on me." I told him to f*ck off and never contact me again and he acted so shocked/offended. Lol. Too many heartbreaks, and I know myself too well to allow him back into my life in any way at all.

/u/woodlandolive

He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook.

Yeah, my cheating university ex used to reach out to chat and ask how my life was going every now and then for ~5 years after we broke up.
I chatted with him politely a few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome. I deleted him off Facebook a few years ago so I’ve not heard from him since then. There is no relationship, I have no desire to stay in touch.

/u/standstagger

He watches all of her Instagram stories even though he doesn't follow her.

No, but my ex who I dated for almost five years keeps viewing my Instagram stories, and he doesn't follow me. He sees them almost as soon as they're posted and it's creepy. We broke up almost three years ago and he has a girlfriend of two years.

/u/sleepyemoji

He reached out during her grandma's funeral.

Not a long ago an ex wrote to me during my grandmother's funeral. I was in a relationship with him for many years but at the end, he had many problems and he didn't treat me as he should and he cheated me. I am happier without him in my life. I know he found a new girlfriend after only 2 months. We broke a few years ago and i'm still single by choice.
He wrote a very complicated message about the fact he wanted to know how my life was doing. My answer was cold but polite. He understood that i didn't want to talk with him so he didn't continue. He always knew that i prefer not to be friend with my exes.

/u/Maple_girl

A college course on feminism inspired him to reach out and apologize to her.

My ex got in touch after a couple of years of no contact to essentially apologize for being a douche. He took a gender discrimination course at the university and apparently it opened his eyes to a lot of shitty stuff he'd been doing, both to me and to other women. So he messaged me and apologized. We have not had contact since then.

/u/sylvesther

She sent him a cold response, and he took the hint.

My college ex sent me an email about three years after we broke up.
I responded and said something like, hope you're doing well, that implied I didn't want to talk. Luckily, he got it at the time.

/u/sexrockandroll

He reached out a few years after their breakup, and they managed to salvage their friendship.

We'd been friends beforehand but it ended badly. A few years later he reached out to apologize. We started texting on and off and went out for drinks with a few mutual friends. We're casual friends now. Text from time to time and meet up once a year or so. He's in a long term relationship and they're really happy together.
With the other we just weren't right for each other, but it was an amicable breakup. She texted me a while later and now we text to catch up every few months.

/u/MarquessOfCats

He reached out to ask her permission to move on.

One of my exes, my first love and and I was his first love, reached out to me to get my blessing. He was going to propose to a girl and asked me if I am okay with that. His reasoning was that he and I were together for so long that I molded him to be the man that he is today. He hasn't been this excited about a woman since me and wanted my approval. The way he gushed about her made me incredibly happy. I told him to go for it because he deserves to be happy and loved. It took me by surprise that he reached out to me like that because he definitely doesn't need my approval since we are no longer close and he lives a thousand miles away. It was really sweet.
I keep in touch with all my exes. My thing is unless they fucked you over pretty badly, there is no reason to burn bridges. This is a person who was a big part of your life, molded you to be who you are today. Why be upset and bitter just because someone realizes that it won't work out? They are probably doing you a favor. It's not like they fucked your best friend. My friends think I am weird. At this age, we are all adults and we have mature relationships. Accept the fact that sometimes people do not work out. Shit happens.

/u/trufflestieu

They had a nice conversation until he sent her an unsolicited dick pic.

He messaged me on Facebook and we spent some time catching up. It was a nice little conversation until he started telling me how I was still hot and he was dumb for cheating on me. Then he sent an unsolicited dick pic. I blocked him because I wasn't the least bit interested.

/u/ashmoe32

Now, every relationship with exes is different. You can use these women's experiences as your guide, but remember to go with your own gut instincts if your ex reaches out to you.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!