When Is It Too Soon To Travel With Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend? An Expert Weighs In
Going on your first trip with your significant other is a big step in your relationship. Before you plan a vacation together, you want to make sure that it's not too soon to travel with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Even a short weekend away can put pressure on your relationship and test your compatibility and conflict-resolution skills. "A vacation is a great opportunity to strengthen a relationship but it can also test it," Benjamin Ritter, relationship expert and founder of The Breakup Supplement told Elite Daily. "The biggest problem you might encounter on your first trip together is that you are spending too much time together."
Every relationship is different, and every person is different. So, there is no set amount of time after which it's "safe" to go on a trip with your partner. Instead of a number of weeks or months, think about some dating milestones you two may or may not have achieved. You'll want to be past certain points before you consider going away as a couple. For example, have you spent 24 hours or more together? Was it comfortable, or did you feel like you needed space? Are you OK with going to the bathroom in front of your significant other? It may sound silly, but it's an issue for some people. Have you had to resolve a big conflict together yet? Were you successful? If you've reached these points and handled them together, you may be ready to spend time away with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Here are three stories from couples who did go away together that may help you determine whether or not you and your partner are ready for a trip.
This girl suggests waiting until you're "official."
Last March, I had been seeing a guy for two months when he spontaneously suggested a long weekend getaway to a tropical island. We were 'exclusive but not official' (his words, not mine — ugh), but I was really into him and thought the trip would be romantic. I won't lie, the trip had its amazing moments: cocktails on the beach, insanely delicious food, salsa dancing with a hot dude, a luxury hotel room paid for by that same hot dude? Awesome. But all that made me assume he felt serious about me. It was confusing and upsetting when he faded out on me not long after the trip. I won't ever travel with a partner again unless we've been in a committed relationship for a while. At the time, I felt silly worrying about how we labeled our relationship, but the aftermath of the trip proved to me that the 'official' label actually does matter.
— Hannah, 24
This guy's story proves that you should probably have practiced resolving conflicts (and been successful) before you travel together.
I accompanied my then-girlfriend from Boston to Providence for a journalism assignment she had. We ended up getting in a fight because I guess I didn't let her pick enough music in the car and it somehow turned into a discussion about our whole relationship. We almost broke up over it, and only lasted three more months afterward.
— Gil, 22
This girl's experience shows that being comfortable with your SO before your trip is the key to a successful vacation.
My first weekend getaway with my boyfriend was a surprise trip he planned as my Christmas present. He made a reservation at a tiny, romantic B&B within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean. We walked down to the beach and had margaritas while the sun set and then went to the best burrito place in town. We had a romantic candlelit dinner and then walked back to the B&B to relax for a bit and find a place to go for dessert. I was so relaxed and happy and comfortable with him that I fell asleep at 8 p.m. He stayed up watching Die Hard and drinking rosé out of the bottle, waiting for me to wake up. I slept through the night.
— Sarah, 24
If you're still unsure if it might be too soon to hop on a plane somewhere with your partner for a week-long trip, Jess Hopkins, a millennial life coach, advises you to attempt a mini trial run. "Testing the waters before committing to a big trip is key," she says. "Plan a few smaller, lower stakes excursions that could emulate some of the challenges that could crop up on vacation. For example, go on a long hike or plan a full day of local museums to see how your partner fares when they start feeling 'over it.'"
Whatever you do, don't rush this major step in your relationship. If you wait until you're both truly ready, your vacation will be that much more enjoyable.
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