Guys Reveal Exactly What They Mean When They Say They're "Not Ready For A Relationship"

by Candice Jalili
Isaiah & Taylor Photography/Stocksy

You and this guy have been hooking up for a few months. And I'm not just talking late-night booty calls here. I'm saying you have a toothbrush at his place and can't remember the last day you've gone without texting him. But, because you haven't had the infamous "what are we?" talk yet, the two of you still aren't officially in a relationship. Being in relationship purgatory was fine the first couple months, but it's starting to get to you, so you finally have "the talk," and he hits you with the old "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" line.

He's not ready for a relationship right now? WTF does that mean? Especially after the two of you have essentially been in a relationship for all intents and purposes for the past three months. Is he actually as emotionally unavailable as he claims to be, or is this just an easy way for him to say "it's not you, it's me"?

Well, on a recent Reddit thread, guys discussed what they really mean when they say they're "not ready for a relationship." Read along as these guys discuss what they've meant when they've said it.

For these guys, it means they're actually not ready for a relationship.

That I'm not ready for a relationship.


When I've said it, I meant literally - it isn't a good time for me to have a relationship.I can't plan to spend any of my free time with you, because my work, family, or personal crap is too overwhelming to allow someone new to occupy any time.
I could see someone saying this instead of "It isn't you.. It's me." as a reason for not starting a relationship.


For this guy, it means the likelihood of him ever wanting a relationship with you is low.

They don’t want a relationship with you. At least not yet. Chances are probably not. Good relationships usually start with fire, not with one person unconvinced. When you find the right person you want them around all the time.


For this guy, it means he wants all the fun parts of a relationship, without the hard parts.

That you're supposed to give him the benefits of a relationship without being in a relationship.


For this guy, it means his lifestyle just isn't conducive to a relationship right now.

My life isn't situated enough to sustain the relationship, I don't have the time, I'm not in the mindset that would allow me to give a partner the version of me I'd like to be, etc.


For this guy, it means he's just not that into you.

Not interested


For this guy, it means he just sees you as a placeholder.

It's a nice way of saying we can be friends or have sex but I am not willing to be committed to you. I am looking for something else in a woman but you will do until I find her.


For these guys, it means they don't want a relationship WITH YOU.

Im not ready for a realionship.......with you. Is what that means to me.


It means I'm not ready for a relationship (with you), aka, nice way of saying "it's not you, it's me", now that that one means only one thing.


He/She is not the right person.


If he really was that into you, he would be ready for one. That's what I've said to every girl I've talked to until I met one I deemed special enough for a relationship.


For these guys, it means they're still recovering from their last relationships.

The last time I said it I meant: the last relationship I had really fucked me up and I’m not ready to take a chance on that happening again.


Only time I've ever said it, I was freaked out because I realized how fucked up I still was from my breakup with my fiancee and that I didn't want the hardcore loveydovey devotion this new girl was demanding so soon after starting to see one another.


And this guy says it better than anyone else: It just depends.

This is one of those situations where the context is 99% of the answer.


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