People Are Tweeting Lessons From Their First Time Having Sex & Yeah, Take Notes

by Candice Jalili

There are plenty of sexual milestones we all go through in life. There's the first time you go through puberty. The first time you find yourself sexually attracted to another person. The first time you share a kiss with another person. And, of course, there's the first time you have sex. As anyone who's ever watched a rap music video or even an episode of The Bachelor can tell you, sex comes with a lot of hype. Before it actually takes place, it's normal to find yourself wondering what to know about your first time having sex.

I mean, for me, I went to Catholic school, so I really, truly knew nothing about sex, other than being taught it was wrong if it was done before marriage. In fact, the only reason I knew what penetrative sex really was, was because I put two and two together after a kid in my class told me a joke about a dad "parking his car" in the mom's "garage," and I was able to figure it out from there. Well, my friends, worry no more! A recent Twitter hashtag, #LessonsFromMyFirstTime, lists everything you should know going into your first time.

Now, be warned, some of these are serious, but for the most part, they're fairly silly and not at all unanimous. So take them with a grain of salt.

Don't bring your stopwatch along.
Make sure you have your privacy.
Be careful if you're doing it in the sand.
There is a possibility of having a surprise nine months later.
Keep your play-by-plays of the event off of social media.
Just because you didn't laugh, doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
Maybe put a pause to your humming.
If your partner says "trust me," don't trust them.
FYI: Facebook relationship statuses aren't a thing anymore.
Again, privacy is vital here, people.
It's OK if you don't crush it the first time.
Things will rise.
Don't let that DM make you feel special.
Odds are, this is not his first time around the block.
This is not the time for you to take a cute selfie.
Don't do anything until you're truly ready.
Seriously. This won't take long.
You thought monsters were scary? Try the sight of a broken condom.
Don't bring your own live entertainment.
Don't waste your time on holding your pee in.
He's not really always texting his "mom."
No thank you card necessary!

The fact of the matter is that everyone's first time is different. What was true for these people may be totally false in your experience. The only advice I can give? Just make sure you're really, truly ready and that you are as SAFE as possible when you decide it's time to do the deed. You'll thank me later.

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