14 Women Reveal How They Define "Really Good Sex" & It's Pretty Relatable, TBH

by Candice Jalili

Let's talk about sex, people. Anyone who's ever had it knows every sexual encounter is different. Sometimes sex is truly average. Nothing to write home about. Sometimes it's quite frankly terrible. On the other hand, there's also the possibility of having sex be mind bogglingly amazing. But what constitutes as good sex for women? Well, according to a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, it's way more than just having an orgasm.

When even just the thought of it makes your stomach drop.
When I think about them a few days later and get that feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that's like a really carnal instinct and makes me wish they were there with me all over again.


When there's plenty of foreplay.
Orgasm and lots of foreplay. Selfless lovers


When you feel totally satisfied after the fact.
I feel satisfied afterwards, with my performance and communication as well as theirs. This does not necessarily require an orgasm. I’ve had a lot of different kinds of good sex. Some was rough and kinky, some was loving and vanilla.


When you're totally in sync with each other.
that feeling of being in sync...and responding to each other rather than going through the motions/being selfish. No inhibitions. Good build up to the deed, not just the O


When you're keeping it interesting.
Active. Interesting. A variety of positions and tempos. Orgasm is a plus, but not a necessity.


When you prioritize each other's pleasure.
During “really good” sex:
We’re both completely present the entire time. Our senses are drowned in each other. Each partner’s pleasure is equally important and we both have consented with enthusiasm — we couldn’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off and feel each other. We are emotionally and physically vulnerable and it’s beautiful instead of scary or intrusive. There is a deep emotional intimacy in the way we touch and move with each other. We are effectively using touch and movement to express the feelings of love, respect, admiration, and connection we have for each other. The message comes across clearly on both ends.


When you're both totally present.
When you are both there in the moment.


When your legs feel tingly after the fact.
If my legs get all tingly afterwards. I expect orgasms and respect for my boundaries, but whatever it is that results in the leg tingles (and it's not necessarily consistent) really takes it from 'meets expectations' to 'excellent'.


When you never want it to end.
The kind where you don't want it to stop, but you have to because you got a dang leg cramp or you've gone dry or you're far too exhausted to carry on.


When there's plenty of passion.
Lots of orgasms, lots of passion and intimacy and connection.


When you're both totally connected.
A mutual enthusiastic desire to make each other feel reaaaally good. A strong connection and passion that just makes everything feel easy and natural. Orgasms. Plenty of oral and manual stimulation. A partner with stamina.


When you're both focused on each other.
An orgasm would be a very good start.
But mostly it has to do with both partners enthusiastically invested in doing the things the other person enjoys, making each other feel good, and languishing in intimacy.


When you start swearing.
When it’s good enough that I start swearing. Doesn’t happen very often, but maybe 1-2x a year the stars will align just right and everything just feels really good.


When you're totally in the moment.
When everything becomes a blur, when you become completely lost in that experience and everything else in the world stops existing. You wouldn't even stop to think about little details like orgasm or foreplay. Because you just know that it was amazing and there's no questioning it. Because you remember that experience more than ten years later, because it stays with you forever. Because it's life changing.


OK, now stop reading this post and go get some action.

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