14 Women Share What They've Learned About Men From Having Sex With Them

by Candice Jalili

Before I actually had sex with a guy for the first time, I spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like. Honestly, even now that I have had sex, I spend a lot of time wondering what sex is like for other women. In other words, the question: "What is sex with men like?" takes up a lot of space in my brain. Now, of course, every man is different so, as a result, sex with each one of them is different. But, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies shared the overarching themes they've noticed from sleeping with men.

Read along and take note. Whether or not you're sexually active or even interested in men, there are universal truths here that reveal so much about relationships both in and out of the bedroom.

A Jerk Outside Of Bed Is Going To Be A Jerk In Bed
If a guy is an a**hole, he's going to make you feel like crap after you sleep with him. It doesn't matter what your intentions are.If a guy is decent, you'll feel fine afterward, even if it was just a one night stand.


Anyone Who Makes An Effort To Make You Feel Good Is A Keeper
If you find yourself a man who uses his hand to stimulate your clit while he's having sex with you, he's a keeper. (Such a thoughtful guy!)


Dudes Can Be Surprisingly Sensitive
Men have way more feelings than society lead me to believe. They are kinder than I was repeatedly told, but some of them can be very needy.


Communicate! They Aren't Mind Readers
Most guys don't automatically know how to get you off. Don't be afraid to be open about what you want and need.


Don't Let Basic Anatomy Fool You Into Thinking They're All The Same
That even though they are all pretty much working with the same equipment they all have different levels of knowledge of what to do with it


Showing Them How Much You're Enjoying The Experience Can Go A Long Way
How overwhelmingly happy they can be if I just put in effort and really dig what we're doing. A fair number of men have been pleasantly taken aback and remarked on my responsiveness. Or if I'm going down on the guy, oh my god they've just been so thrilled when it's clear I'm enjoying what I'm doing, and enjoying their reaction.


Guys You Have Concrete Reasons Not To Date Make Great FWBs
If you're looking for a FWB situation, find a guy you genuinely like as a person, have sexual chemistry with but have plenty of reasons for not actually dating. During times when I was not ready or interested in a relationship, I had fantastic FWB situations because we went in with complete honesty. Not for everyone, I'm aware.


Lots Of Guys May Not Know How To Go Down On You, But That Doesn't Mean They Can't Learn
Most guys don’t know how to eat p*ssy. However, those guys usually make great students. Lol.


Good Sex Can Take A Few Tries
I will second the poster who said random hookups aren’t worth it, but that’s not to say that you can’t have your fun if that’s what you want. I maintained a handful of ongoing sexual relationships. Sex is always better the second time. Sex is also generally better with people you can enjoy being around. One insight I hadn’t considered was the fact that a lot of men have had a lot of where their partner was basically a starfish in bed. So be active in bed, it really helps liven things up. Also, the men with smaller penises that I’ve been with compensate by being the best at giving orgasms. The more naturally fit guys that don’t have to try as hard to get a girl in bed (and also have not been in a long term relationship) are also not as good in bed.


There's Less Variety Than You Might Expect
Lots of penis smell the same.


The Stereotypical Alpha Male Isn't Always Going To Rock Your World In The Bedroom
The men who look like they will be good as sex usually aren't.
I've slept with a few men who ooze that stereo typical alpha male vibe and give the impression they would know EXACTLY what they are doing...
From my experience, it's never been the case. I've had far better sexual relationships with guys who are smaller, not as generally hot etc...


Good Kissing Can Be An Indicator Of Things To Come
I've found that if a man can kiss well, he can do everything else well. It's a measure that has held true 100% of the time for me.


Telling A Man His Penis Is Small Will Crush His Self-Esteem
Never ever tell a man he has a small penis.... even if he asks you what you think. It will crush him for life and ruin his self confidence in the bedroom.


Sometimes Having Zero Romantic Interest Can Lead To Great Sex
Sometimes the very best sex is with someone you have ZERO romantic interest in and dgaf if you never see again - makes it easy to be 100% selfish and direct them to do what you like or tell them directly what you don't. All safely of course. :)


Again, every dude is different! There really are no hard and fast rules we can make about what sex with men is like. These are just what these women have noticed from their own experiences. Food for thought!