"Christmas Boobs" Are Now A Thing & They Put Your Tacky Christmas Sweaters To Shame

by Candice Jalili

I remember my first ugly Christmas sweater-themed party in college. I was excited. "What a novel, hilarious, and all-around AMAZING idea," I thought to myself as I gleefully drove over to the Goodwill with my friends to pick out our sweaters. I couldn't WAIT to hit this party and show off my hilarious tacky sweater. And OMG, don't even get me started on how pumped I was to post these pics on social media. But, alas, about 30,000 ugly Christmas sweater parties later, and the excitement has officially worn off. Luckily, though, this new Christmas boob trend has swooped in as my new favorite hilarious Christmas-themed idea.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the whole "Christmas Boob" trend, let me break it down for you here. Basically, the way it works is that people are cutting a hole in their sweaters where their boob normally is and popping their boob out (think: Regina Geroge in Mean Girls with the holes in her tank top). But you see, people aren't just popping their plain boob out and calling it a day. No, they're decorating their boobs to be fun, festive, and FLIRTY Christmas boobs. What that means is that you decorate your boob to be something Christmas-related so it becomes part of your Christmas outfit. Think of it as, like, a brooch. A very NSFW brooch.

When it comes to how you decorate your Christmas boob, there's plenty of room for creativity.

You could go with an all-time classic: Rudolph the Red-Nippled Booby.

But don't feel tied down to the reindeer boob idea. You're free to take the trend and make it your own.

And boys, don't feel left out! You can join in on the trend, too. In fact, plenty of guys have.

And just look at this cute Christmas-boob couple!

Aw, how cute is that? OK, so hopefully, I've gotten your creative juices going at this point, and you're ready to take the Christmas Boob sensation by storm with some super creative ideas of your own if you're comfortable with it. Obviously, this trend isn't for everyone. While ugly Christmas sweaters provide people with a safer option, if you're feeling super confident and need a little ~adventure~ the Christmas boob is a FAR more daring trend. And let's face it: Being "normal" is entirely overrated, so as far as I'm concerned, if you've got the guts to pull it off, GO FOR IT.

I guess my only concern with the trend would actually have nothing to do with the scandalousness of it, but more to do with the fact that I'd be terrified of how freezing my boob would be if it were just out hanging freely in the dead of the winter. But DON'T WORRY, because I've already thought of a way to combat this concern: I would just stuff my reindeer's red nose with some wool to keep my nip nice and warm. You're welcome for that amazing idea.

If some of you are concerned that a Rudolph boob isn't quite for you, don't worry! There are plenty of other options out there. These options include, but are not limited to, Frosty the Snowman boobs, Santa boobs, boobs wrapped as a Christmas present with a bow on top, and elf boobs.

All right, now, it's time for you to get out there and show off your Christmas spirit! Just maybe don't post the pictures on social media if your dad or your boss or your grandma or anyone else who might turn to stone at the site of this kind of pic follows you.

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