Even if you haven't read the book or watched the movies yourself, odds are, you've heard about 50 Shades of Grey and its super steamy passages. I mean, the entire premise of the book is basically that Christian Grey is a rich, hot dude who can't resist an innocent girl named Anastasia and wants to do very, very kinky things with her. And Anastasia wants a relationship with him as well. For the most part, it's all hot and steamy stuff. But, there's one scene in the new book that gets a little weird, and tweets about the new 50 Shades Of Grey book, Darker: Fifty Shades Darker as Told by Christian, show us just how weird it got.
Basically, the latest installment in the series tells the story from Christian Grey's perspective, instead of Anastasia's. The scene in the new book that has people dying involves Anastasia and Christian feeling a lot of sexual tension... while they're cooking together in the kitchen. The passage in question starts off with this:
My c*ck approves, big-time. 'I know what you're doing, Anastasia.'
'I think it's called cooking,' she says with disingenuous sincerity.
Oh. Playful Anastasia. Is she finally realizing the power she has over me?
Grabbing another knife, she joins me at the chopping board, peeling and slicing garlic, shallots, and French beans. She takes every opportunity to bump into me. She's not subtle.
Then, Anastasia ~sexily~ grabs some veggies apparently:
She takes the vegetables and places them beside the gently smoking wok.
'If you do that again, Anastasia, I'm going to take you on the kitchen floor.'
Finally, Mr. Grey can't take Anastasia's sexy vegetable cutting anymore. And let's just say, things get serious:
'I think we'll eat later.' Because right now I'm going to f*ck your brains out. 'Put the chicken in the fridge.'
BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.
The Twitter frenzy started when Scott Bryan, a TV Editor at BuzzFeed, tweeted a picture of the passage highlighted in the book itself:
This guy thinks it's very "admirable" that the book followed the "kitchen and food safety" rules so closely.
This guy thinks stopping everything to put the chicken back in the fridge was overkill.
This lady thinks we need more information on how the chicken was prepared.
This lady thinks the thread tops the book.
This lady is worried about Anastasia's health.
This guy was inspired to get his own copy of the book.
This guy has his own potential passage.
But his passage can't compare to this person's suggestion.
I mean, the part about the marble effect?! OMG.
This guy would go nuts for someone who takes the trash out at all.
This lady thinks we've all been sleeping on using "put the chicken in the fridge" as a sexy line.
In fact, this lady is going to use it as her new go-to line on dating apps.
Scott Bryan came back to point out the even weirder post-coital conversation.
Also, Grey calls Anastasia a "wench," and I'm, like, pretty grossed out.
Finally, BREAKING NEWS: CHRISTIAN GREY HAS NEVER CHOPPED A FREAKING VEGETABLE.
Yep, that's right.
Let me give you a little recap of that last passage. Basically, Christian says he doesn't cook. Then, Anastasia gives him some veggies and a knife anyway, and he literally has no idea what to do. He also thinks to himself, "They are such a weird shape," which leads me to believe he's never even seen a vegetable, much less chopped one.
At that point, she asks him if he's ever chopped a vegetable. He admitted he hasn't (again, what??), and then, Anastasia gets a little smug and flirty (classic Anastasia).
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life never being able to look at a chicken or a vegetable the same way ever again.
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