I recently briefly dated a man who was 6'8" and instead of asking me questions like, "What does he do?" or, "Is he nice?", all of my friends immediately wanted to know "how big is it?!" Seriously. In life, the general consensus is that bigger is better. Bigger paycheck, bigger apartment, bigger dreams. But in bed, size is not always everything. Certain positions can be, um, untenable, and your partner's size can actually be limiting. But don't worry! Try a few of these sex positions if he has a big penis.
Don't just take my word for it. I connected with Stephanie Alys, co-founder and Chief Pleasure Officer of MysteryVibe, and talked all things size and sex. "It’s important to acknowledge there is no direct relationship between penis size and sexual pleasure," she explains. The belief that a big penis reflects superiority in the bedroom stems from patriarchal ideals that are overall harmful to our sexual attitudes."
Also remember that your size and shape is half of the sex-quation in the sack, and every body is different. Alys recommends, "Discover your preferences no matter what shapes and sizes you and your partner bring to the bedroom." Here we go...
Rock The Cradle
One simple position to try if your partner is on the larger side is the Cradle. Alys explains, "The penetrating partner sits on the bed with their legs crossed, and the receiving partner sits on top. The receiving partner can gently lower themselves to a point that feels comfortable, and slowly work their way deeper if they so choose." This way you're in control of the motion of the ocean and can make sure you're comfortable.
A Really Big Spoon
A spoon stack is not just a cozy way to sleep with someone — it's also a must-try position for sex with a really big... spoon. Alys suggests, "Spooning is another great position, as the penetrating partner has limited motion. These more shallow thrusts will keep the penetrating partner from reaching an uncomfortable depth. Plus, this position leaves lots of room for hands to wander and stimulate other erogenous zones." Hands free and laying down? Sign me up.
A Different Doggy
From behind, or "doggy style," can be uncomfortable if your partner is seriously packing, so get on your feet, people. Alys says, "A standing version of doggy style is a great way to make this position more comfortable if the depth feels overwhelming. When the penetrating partner is standing, their thrusts will be more shallow, and it’s a bit easier for a receiving partner with a vulva to stimulate themsleves when they aren’t bent over." Woof!
Tools And Tricks Of The Trade
If your partner is XXL, there's already a lot going on in the bedroom, but adding some accessories and toys can be a game-changer for your sex life. Alys suggests for partners of all shapes and sizes, "In general, lots of lube and plenty of sexy activities before penetrative sex can help keep things feeling good." There are also sex toys that help control depth of penetration, such as Ohnut, which Alys says can help you both make sure your sex is comfortable.
If you're experiencing discomfort during sex, she suggests it might not be simply due to size. "Keep in mind that a partner’s penis size may not be the only factor making certain positions — or penetrative sex overall — uncomfortable. Pelvic pain is incredibly common, resulting from endometriosis, vaginismus, and many other factors."
Size isn't everything, but your sex life is a crucial element of your relationship with your partner, so taking the time to experiment and finds ways to accommodate each other in bed is key. And if you're already rockin' and rollin' with each other, then these four moves can just be a nice cherry on your really, really big cake.
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