Finding someone you're attracted to is relatively easy, but landing on a person you connect with on a deeply emotional, mental, and spiritual level, now that's the trick — and the goal. While it's rarely an easy task, finding the best match for your Enneagram type might be the first step to making it happen.
If you aren’t familiar with Enneagrams, it’s a system that breaks down nine interconnected personality types based on factors such as what people are motivated by, fear, and prioritize in life. What makes Enneagram compatibility so compelling and helpful in finding someone who suits you is that the personality types are built around a core belief. That, in turn, is something that has a major impact on how people perceive and interact with others.
In other words, if you're looking for someone who either shares or clicks with your worldview, consider taking the Enneagram test and swiping right on the type who matches well with yours.
Type 1: The Perfectionist
Type One holds themself to a very high standard. They prioritize personal integrity and take pride in their self control. They're very responsible and hard working, but can also be very critical of both themselves and others. They have difficulty admitting when they're not right. As a result, they pair well with types who are a bit more flexible, can go with the flow, and can understand Type One’s perspective, like Type Two.
Type Two brings warmth, understanding, and encouragement to the relationship. They value Type One’s morality and their desire to do good. They also possess the unique ability to help Type One relax a bit by offering stability, affection, and loyalty.
Type 2: The Helper
Type Two lives to be there for others. They're nurturing and full of passion, which leads them to be self-sacrificing, sometimes to the point where they forget to attend to their needs at all. They care so much about others that they have to be cautious about taking on too much of other people’s emotions. This is why they're best matched with Type Three, who wouldn’t take advantage of their empathy. Type Three is hard working, efficient, and takes great pride in achievement. While Type Two can help Three to remember that they're more than the sum of their successes and failures, Three helps Two conceptualize and pursue their dreams and desires. Together, these two make for a total power couple.
Type 3: The Performer
Type Three's all about achievement and success. They're highly ambitious, driven, and in constant pursuit of excellence. While this can lead Type Three to have a lot of success in their career, it also can make it easy for their personal or romantic life to fall by the wayside. This is why having a match that brings emotional stability and enthusiastic support can make all the difference. Due to this, they pair well with Type Nine, who is very supportive and understanding. They're natural diplomats who see all sides in any situation and simply seek to create peace and harmony. They also help Three to reconnect with their emotional side.
Type 4: The Romantic
Type Four is the artist of the Enneagram types. They're in tune with their emotions and channel them into their creative endeavors. They're also very introspective and sensitive and can tend toward becoming melancholy. This is why matching with a grounded Type Five can be a stabilizing and uplifting experience for them. Type Five is much more intellectually inclined; they value gaining knowledge through scholarly pursuits and are a bit more reserved. This means they can help Type Four process their feelings and experiences through a new lens and see themselves in a different light. Type Five also offers them a rock-solid foundation that helps steady them when they feel adrift in life.
Type 5: The Observer
Type Five tends to be very introverted and likes to have plenty of time for themselves. They're passionate about gaining knowledge and enjoy scholarly pursuits. While that's a worthy effort, it can make forming relationships challenging for them. This is why an outgoing Type Two is their ideal match for Five. When Type Two is attracted to a Type Five, they can’t help but want to get in there, draw them out, and find some way to make their life better. This kind of nurturing and loving attitude can succeed in bringing out a softer, more emotional side in Type Five that even they didn’t know they had.
Type 6: The Loyal Skeptic
Type Six is all about maintaining their safety and that of the people they care for. They're extremely cautious and sometimes slow to open up. Constantly on the outlook for potential threats and planning for how to offset them, Type Six tends to be on the anxious side and prefers taking action over sitting back and observing. They need a partner who can be a calming and stabilizing force in their lives; someone who can reassure them while exhibiting loyalty and steadfastness. That's why Type Six and Type Nine are a perfect pair.
Type 7: The Epicure
While some types need an opposite to help bring balance to their life, Type Seven is best paired with a type that's on their same wavelength. Type Seven is an optimistic, upbeat type who's enthusiastic about trying new things and exploring fresh experiences. They like to stay on the move and try to avoid worrying about the here and now. This could drive more security-loving types bonkers, but for a fellow free spirit like Type Nine who just wants peace, harmony, and emotional connection, it’s a perfect match.
Type 8: The Protector
Type Eight isn't short on confidence. They're powerful, authoritative, take pride in protecting the people they love. They're also natural leaders who radiate strength and competence. However, it can sometimes be hard for Type Eight to connect because they're afraid to be vulnerable with others. Because of this, having a partner like a Type Nine, who is highly intuitive and empathetic, can help crack Type Eight's tough outer shell.
Type 9: The Mediator
It's not hard for Type Nine to match well with others. They're grounded and empathetic and go out of their way to keep the peace, so they get on well with just about everyone. But what makes Type Nine feel happy and whole? In that case, look no further than Type Two, whose nurturing and generous spirit is working just as hard to take care of Type Nine’s needs as Nine is to take care of theirs. This is an easy-going and loving pairing that simply works well.
It's easy to see why these pairings make so much sense when you start to understand what motivates both sides. Enneagrams aren't an exact science or a total guarantee of a forever match, but if you're looking for someone who shares a drive that truly complements your own, they're a great insight to start from.