In kindergarten, my nap spot was right next to my crush’s. One day, neither of us could sleep, so we just lay on our mats, looking at each other. So romantic. Then, he reached out his hand to touch mine, but neither of us knew what we were doing, so we just pressed them against each other, Tarzan and Jane style. The Disney movie had just come out, OK? That was my first flirting experience, and to this day, I’m still just as bad at flirting. Luckily for me, these tweets about weird ways to flirt have convinced me I’m not the only one.
Flirting can be hard! Some people are naturals at it, and they manage to snag the person who catches their eye every time. Call it mystery, swagger (do people still say swagger?), or just plain talent, but flirting is easy for them and gets them results. On the other hand, some of us tend to stumble. Maybe we’re just shy and can’t really muster up the courage to say hello. Sometimes, we’re scared of rejection. Who isn’t?! Most times, though, I find that flirting is hard because we don’t know how to express ourselves without seeming awkward. So, we resort to other methods! Here are some excellent ideas to get us started, thanks to the trending Twitter hashtag #WeirdWaysToFlirt. Disclaimer: Don't actually do any of these. Please. Thanks.
Make eye contact, but not for too long.
Remember to smize!
Throw in a wink.
Keep playing the eye contact game until you're ready to say hi.
Slowly walk over. Don't lose your nerve!
Start with a solid introduction.
Mention something you know a lot about.
Or something you're passionate about.
Just be yourself!
Try getting a little more intimate.
Keep the lulls in conversation to a minimum, if possible.
Don't lose faith in yourself!
Flaunt whatcha got!
Make sure they actually get the message.
And that they understand it.
And that it's relevant.
And not creepy.
If you're using a wingman/woman, make sure they know what they're doing.
Keep your bodily fluids to yourself, please.
Don't assume that they'll catch on right away. If your methods are unconventional, it might take a sec.
Consider your environment and what's going on around you.
Know what settings are appropriate. Grocery stores? Yes. Funerals? Hard no.
Keep the physical destruction to a minimum.
Don't get weird (at least not yet).
Don't be too aggressive.
Or make it too obvious.
You never want to come on too strong.
Know how to read when they're just not into it.
Back down, but don't take it too personally.
Try again another time, maybe with a different strategy.
Remember, if someone doesn't seem interested in your advances, don't take it personally. They might be in a relationship, not really looking for anything right now, or just not interested. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you! It just wasn't meant to be, and you'll find someone who wants to flirt back just as much as you do.
Just as important is knowing when to back down. Nothing sucks more than being hit on repeatedly by someone you're not into, especially if you've expressed that to them. Don't be that person. If they ignore you, respond dryly, or downright tell you they're not interested, retreat! Take it in stride, and move on. Again, there's nothing wrong with you!
At the end of the day, take comfort in the fact that most people are probably just as clueless about flirting as you are. If you're brave enough to approach someone and introduce yourself, that's already a huge indication of your character, and it's honestly a super attractive quality, IMHO. Just maybe refrain from pressing hands à la Tarzan and Jane. That doesn't end well, trust.
Now, go do the damn thing.
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