The "Monster Mash" Halloween Sex Position Is Scarily Hot
If your definition of "getting freaky" on Halloween has less to do with dressing up and more to do with undressing your partner, you can still incorporate some spooky vibes come Oct. 31. It's a special occasion, after all, so why not get a little festive? It's the one time all year when you can really get away with making your partner howl. Put on a scary movie and your screams of delight will be totally disguised. In order to really get in the mood, though, you need to try the "Monster Mash" Halloween sex position.
You're probably wondering what on Earth a catchy song about monsters has to do with having sex. Well, I'll tell you. And don't worry — you'll catch on in a flash. If you can't recite the tune from memory, let me give you a quick refresher. The song opens with these lyrics:
I was working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster from his slab began to rise, and suddenly to my surprise, he did the mash. He did the monster mash.
You don't have to be Doctor Frankenstein to pull off this scarily hot sex move. Here's how its done.
Have your partner lie on their back, completely still. Get on top of them in a cowgirl position, and begin to grind, or "mash" your body against theirs. When they can't handle the thrill of your movements anymore, and their "monster" begins to rise, you know you're doing it right.
I mean, come on. This song was clearly written to be at least a little dirty. Check out these lyrics and then try and tell me I'm wrong:
From my laboratory in the castle east, to the master bedroom where the vampires feast, the ghouls all came from their humble abodes, to get a jolt from my electrodes.
If you prefer to try this move with another lady, never fear. You can add a strap on into the mix, or try the other version of the "Monster Mash" position, which is possibly even more fun.
You begin the exact same way described above, but when your partner is thoroughly turned on, they should sit up and cross their legs. You can then wrap your legs around their waist, still facing them. You may also want to put your arms around their neck for support.
Since it's difficult to do a lot of in and out thrusting in this position, it's all about grinding and rocking on one another. This move brings you closer to your partner and will make you both feel scary good.
In the spirit of Halloween, make sure to dim the lights and light a few pumpkin-scented candles before you commence your freak-fest. If you're really feeling it, you can wear a witch hat (and nothing else), or keep on a few carefully selected elements of the costume you wore earlier in the evening. Because nothing makes you and your partner want to graveyard smash like taking off all of your Hogwarts schoolgirl uniform, apart from the necktie and thigh-high stockings.
Like I said, you'll catch on in a flash. Then you can mash; then you can monster mash. All night long.
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