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The Meaning Of “Dress” By Taylor Swift Is So Sexual, You’re Gonna Faint

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Taylor Swift's new album, Reputation, dropped on Nov. 10, and for all of you who have been following every single hint, Instagram post, and alllll those secret sessions pictures, this is a big, big deal. To add thrill on top of thrill, we now know all about the songs — including one that was predicted to be pretty R-rated. Now we know the meaning of "Dress," and it's verrrry sexual. Read on, Swifties. Read on.

We already knew that the song was predicted to be kind of scandalous. Over the past few months, Swift invited 500 hand-picked fans to participate in some top secret listening parties. All the attendees got to preview the singer's new album Reputation, and had some one-on-one selfie time with Swift. Everything was kept super, super secret — which is honestly the best marketing decision ever. All most of us got were the few snippets shown in the secret sessions preview clips featuring fans gushing (in unfortunately vague terms) about the album.

"It's so different, but so her," one fan said. "I am so excited to blast it in my car every single day once it comes out."

Another fan added,

The new tunes are phenomenal. I think Taylor overall, whether it be her music or right now is living her best, unapologetically honest life.

And with "Dress," we got the evidence.

The lyrics read:

Our sacred moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

There is an indentation

In the shape of you

Made your mark on me

A golden tattoo

All of this silence and patience

Pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from

Holding back from you

All of this silence and patience

Pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this…

Say my name and everything just stops

I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

Cause I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Inescapable, I’m not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

I’m spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we’re both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they don’t know nothing about

All of this silence and patience

Pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from

Holding back from you

All of this silence and patience

Pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this…

Say my name and everything just stops

I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

Cause I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can’t explain this

Say my name and everything just stops

I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

Cause I don’t want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

There is an indentation

In the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You put your mark on me

Golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

It turns out that Swift's song "Dress" caused a little bit of a controversy during the meet-and-greets. A few fans tweeted that the singer's parents either left the room or seemed a wee bit uncomfortable during that particular part of the listening session.

So fans were super intrigued. Also, there was plenty of speculation about who any super steamy song on the album could be about. (My guess? it's most likely about Swift's beau Joe Alwyn.)

The two have yet to officially debut their relationship, but have been spotted heading to the gym together, looking all cool and athletic. An insider told Us Weekly that Swift has given a lot of thought as to when and where the couple will make their first real appearance together. There's a chance, the source said, that he will go with her to the MTV Europe Music Awards on Nov. 12.

“He might attend," the insider said. "She wants to reveal their relationship when the time is right.” The source added,

Taylor loves to cook and bake for him ... She’s always said she wants a big family and she sees herself having kids with Joe down the line. Taylor really believes he’s the one for her.

So, yes, that all sounds lovely and romantic and, if you ask me, cements the idea that any and all potentially R-rated songs are going to be about Alwyn.

Plus, a fan who attended one of Swift's secret sessions confirmed that the singer's other track "Gorgeous" is about her boyfriend. The Tumblr user wrote,

Basically Taylor made us promise that if anyone made accusations of who this song is about, we tell them that it is 100% about her angel boyfriend of one year.
(this isn't a secret, she wanted us to tell people.)

*Sigh* so that means that these "Gorgeous" lyrics are for sure about Alwyn and his very chiseled face:

You should take it as a compliment

That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her

But if you're single that's honestly worse

'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

Well, I'm off to re-listen to Reputation and dream of British beaus and perfecting that whole curly haired, red lip look.

You can listen to "Dress" on iTunes here.