The Best Sex-Positive Advice From Moms You Need To Know Right Now
Moms really do know best, even when it comes to sex. Did you just cringe? Well, try to move past it, lady, because moms have, enjoy, and know a whole lot about getting busy. They have the wisdom that comes with the experience of having quite literally been there and done that, which is why you should never miss an opportunity to take on some of their wisdom, even if it may feel a little awkward to talk your mom about the ins-and-out of going to bone town. Nothing beats the best sex-positive advice from moms.
Listen, I get it. You may not feel totally comfortable asking your mom for all the down-and-dirty deets, so here's the good news: Mom advice doesn't just have to come from your mom, it can come from any mom! Which is why I reached out to a whole bunch of them for their best advice. Here's what they've either told, or will tell, their kids about sex. And honestly, this advice is so good. Some of it is practical, some if it is spiritual, but all of it, if you apply it today, will take your sex life — and self-love — to the next level.
On why you don’t have to be nervous the first time you have sex.
“Having sex for the first time is like using a diving board: Exhilarating! Fun! Well, as long as you don't get too careless. Don't jump before you're ready, you'll know when you are, it'll still be a little scary. Take precautions to be safe, make sure you're with someone who will keep you safe and happy — but stay mindful."
— Ashley, 70
On why sex after motherhood is better.
“Once your partner has seen you give birth, there is nothing left to hide. It’s a relief! I’m rarely ever self conscious about my body anymore.”
— Angella, 38
On how to keep the passion alive.
“Have some ‘no sex nights’ with your partner. Make out and have some foreplay but after all the build up, no sex. The waiting makes it better. The next day you’re thinking about last night and wanting more.”
— Renee, 39
On waiting to have sex before marriage.
“You don't buy a car without a test drive, so why would you marry someone without testing them out first?”
— Carmen*, 75
On having sex on your own terms.
“Make sure you are having sex because you want be having sex. If a guy pressures you, tell him where the bathroom is and tell him to wash his hands after. [Editor's note: In other words, tell them to take a hike!] If you are going to have sex, make sure you get what you want out of it, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. “
— Audrey, 54
On how to keep it spicy in the bedroom.
"Spice up sex, change things around as much as possible. Surprise your partner!"
— Maria, 47
On what sex is really all about.
"In your 20s, sex seems to be something everyone is having and becomes a must. Well... that is not necessarily true. Sex is meant to be a pleasure, it's where many things from each side is exchanged, body fluids of all type, smells, skin in contact, eyes are in contact, and most of all, our energy fields and mind come together with the goods and the bad. We need to honor our body, which is the temple of our soul, love it and respect it. This means be mindful who you let in!
Be in peace with that and it would be more pleasant. At the end of it, you want to get the best of it, like in everything you do and experience in life. The best does not mean that you had an orgasm or who came first, or how long it lasted. It’s that whatever happens and how it happens, you are conscious about it and use the experience to grow as an individual and take full responsibility of how you feel. Regardless of what that other person did or felt. It’s a responsibility, as an adult and human being, to decide how we want to experience this act. It's your body, is your soul, is your mind, is your energy. Every time you are with someone, you give and receive."
— Jessica, 42
On why making love starts with loving yourself.
"Make time for self-care. It's hard to enjoy sex or even feel sexy if you're exhausted from parenting and working. Also, honor your amazing body — it grew a person! Every stretch mark, every roll, scar, or dimple — that's you, and it's sexy as hell."
— Lisa, 39
Plenty of people are more than happy to offer sex advice. Some of it might be helpful, and some of it might be, well... not so helpful. But none of it is given with more love and wisdom than when it comes from mom.