Life is busy. There's always so much to do, so much to accomplish, and so much left undone and unaccomplished at the end of the day! While being busy and motivated can be energizing, it can also be tricky to find a balance between your ambitions and your personal life. Taking the time to nourish both aspects of your life is super important, but sacrificing one for the sake of the other can be detrimental to your overall happiness. As you're figuring out your career and your love life, consider this
love advice for ambitious women.
As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" This advice definitely applies to finding a balance between your ambitions and your love life. Loving yourself means honoring your own power, confidently prioritizing your work, and knowing that you deserve fulfillment in both areas of your life. That being said, sometimes you just need a little encouragement and advice from some empowered, successful, and wise women to figure things out. So read on for some insights from truly boss women.
Find Someone Who Celebrates You
Only date people who celebrate and revel in your badassery. Insecure people feel threatened by power and success and will seek to undermine you — making you feel guilty, unsure, or embarrassed of your ambition. A healthy relationship is one that constantly feeds and supports your upward momentum, and doesn't see your growth as diminishing theirs.
— Georgia Clark, author of
and The Regulars The Bucket List For me, it’s about knowing when to step into my powerful, assertive self in my work life, and then switching gears to relish in my divine feminine side in a romantic relationship. To me, this means asking for my partner's help and advice, showing him my appreciation, nurturing him, and embodying sensuality for him. And the key part of relishing in being feminine in my relationship means being just as powerful with my partner as I am in my work life.
— Kim Turnbull, founder and director of
The Brooklyn Schoolhouse Be the truest version of yourself and nothing less. By embracing your uniqueness you'll radiate a confidence that's super attractive. I am obsessed with houseplants, weight-train four mornings a week before work, like to go to bed on time, don't drink alcohol often, and am a homebody — this doesn't sound like a 26-year old woman living in New York City, yet presenting this version of myself has allowed me to quickly form deep connections with people who love me for who I am.
— Ilse Paanakker, founder of the wellness company
Habit House Meet people where they meet you — don't over-invest in anyone that's not investing in you. Dating is like every other relationship in your life whether it be a work relationship or friendship. You're not going to be chasing down a client that doesn't show interest, so why would you do that with a partner? Value your time, value our energy, value your heart. If you treat yourself with respect, other people will do the same.
— Rory Uphold,
writer, filmmaker, and actor Be open to being disrupted by a relationship — even if you’re too into your career. The right person should only make you a better woman. Remember that confidence will attract the right person and to hold back due to fear of being intimidating is actually not who you are. A focused woman is a fine-*ss woman. Don’t be married to your job, but be excellent at it. There’s freedom in the latter, and dependance in the former.
singer and songwriter Knowing your worth is the universal key to every door. Whether it's in a relationship, in the workplace, or when you look in the mirror — once you truly feel your value and know what you bring to the table, confidence, security and peace immediately follow.
— Monica Padman, co-host of
Armchair Expert Podcast Regarding power, take steps to ensure you have your own life in motion and your own goals and desires that you are actively working towards that light you up. Love should be a by-product of your own worth and self esteem. You can never borrow anyone else’s power (not for long anyway.) Your power is bigger than you — it’s your connection to why you are on this planet to begin with. I connect to my power by meditating, journaling, taking walks, and listening to my gut instincts.
— Meagan Grainger, host of
Superficial Magic podcast I think one of the most powerful things about women is our intuition. I can't remember a time that I've had a true gut check (as I call it) lead me the wrong way. I think we are taught to brush intuition off as being overly sensitive but I say trust it. I trust my gut to guide my professional choices, to know when something works or just doesn't, and I use my gut in my personal life to be the same sort of emotional barometer.
— Courtney Hart,
makeup artist Be with someone who wants you to succeed even if that means them picking up the slack in the rest of your shared life. I know when I'm executing an event or deep in the weeds on a project, I need all the help I can get. Having a husband that sees the gaps and fills in before I have a breakdown from trying to do it all is key to my success. Being a working mom means that life doesn’t simply slow down because work is busy… all it means is that I have that many additional balls in the air and I need my partner to help me juggle them all.
— Erika Curtis,
Los Angeles Maven for Lululemon I used to “save" things like a great outfit or a fancy bottle of wine for a special occasion or date night—not anymore. If it makes you feel great, wear it. If you have something to celebrate, drink the champagne.
— Anne Zelek, business management for a tech company
For many women, the ambition we can attribute much of our success to in life is also the voice that can be our own harshest critic. It propels us forward in our lives while simultaneously delivering low blows to our self-esteem when we deliver anything less than perfection. By learning to observe and hit the mute button on that voice in our heads, we discover the truth about ourselves, learn to love ourselves wholeheartedly, and set ourselves up for the relationships we desire and deserve.
— Danielle Finck, Founder and CEO of
So while it's an evolving challenge to balance your love life with your career, it's clear that spending time doing something that's nourishing and productive for your life and happiness is always a good thing. Whether that's focusing on your career, or prioritizing your relationship, the advice is clear — you do you!