The year 2018 is upon us, everyone. Another year has passed, we're moving on with our lives, and a new set of resolutions we'll probably give up on my Jan. 2, 2018 are set. With everything we went through in 2017, you might be ready to consult a psychic about what the next year holds for you, but luckily that won't be necessary. I've got one word to describe what 2018 holds for you, based on your zodiac sign. Like a horoscope for dummies edition, this will give you all the insight you need to know about when it comes to the new year, while maintaining the mystique that every New Years Eve needs.
And just something to take note of: Don't shoot the messenger. This is all an interpretation of what I'm reading in the stars. I'm a little more, um, coarse and cranky than your everyday astrologer. If you want someone who is going to give you a prediction that feels like getting your ass tickled with a feather, I don't know what to tell you. I don't go in for that stuff. Find your nearest new age bookstore and see if they have any recommendations for a psychic. Give her 70 bucks and see what she's got for you. I'm offering this for free, so take what you want and leave the rest. Here's what 2018 holds for you, based on your zodiac sign.
Aries - Fame
Alright, maybe not FAME per se, but you'll definitely be hungry for it. This year, you'll be playing Wolf of Wall Street in your own mind, hungry to make strides in your career like you've never felt before.
Taurus- Knowledge
This year is going to be about expanding your mind, researching new ways, new philosophies, new world views. If an acid trip could be a labeled a year of your life, that year would be labeled 2018.
Gemini- Debt
This year is going to be about paying your dues, and I mean that literally and figuratively. If your student loans haven't been paid, this will be the year you stress out about them most. In fact anything you haven't paid off, or have been procrastinating on, will haunt you. You can run, but you can't hide Gemini!
Cancer- Love
You might think that love means relationships. Sometimes it does, and it very well might for you, but what Cancer has written in the stars this year is romance. You'll either create a more romantic life for yourself creatively, or you'll find someone special to bring it in. Either way, prep yourself.
Leo- Work
This year is going to be about daily responsibilities, the people, companies, and duties you have to focus on. There's some humility to be learned from being of service to others Leo; everything doesn't have to be an early 2000s Britney Spears music video all the time.
Virgo- Drama
I'm not talking about the "I literally hate DRAMA," sense of the word. I'm talking about fun. Virgo, this is the year you finally put down the to-do lists and let the f*ck loose. Stop resisting enjoying your life. You look like a screaming child being dragged to a warm bath.
Libra- Domesticity
Your family, your home, your inner circle. That's what this years theme will be for you, Libra. You're creating a space where you feel safe that isn't a cocktail party. I know that can be tough for a party animal like yourself, but you'll learn: the party is within you, young grasshopper.
Scorpio- Communication
This year is going to be about learning how to communicate. How your ability to talk your way through everything isn't going to fly forever. You might actually have to learn to open up your heart and let those thoughts fly free into the open in order for them to lose their power over you.
Sagittarius- Money
Hey, Big Spender! Slow your roll. You're going to be finding ways to increase your income this year in ways you'd never have imagined. But with great money comes great expenses, so be sure that your personal resources are used wisely.
Capricorn- Yourself
This is your time to shine. This year you get to reinvent yourself, both in your own eyes and in the eyes of everyone who knows you. Your personal desires come to fruition in the best ways possible. It really is a "new year, new you."
Aquarius- Spirituality
This year you'll get to know yourself on a higher level. By that I mean you will truly come face to face with your higher self. The part of you that is connected to everyone and everything, the part of you that so often stays hidden or ignored. Meditate. Go to yoga. Get involved.
Pisces- Friendships
This year you might be rethinking your friendships and ridding yourself of anything superficial or surface. By the end of 2018, you'll have gotten the people out of your life who no longer serve to inspire you or your greatest hopes and dreams. Stick with the winners. You don't have time to wait for the ones dragging you down.
