If you haven't seen the posters or the movie previews or the Facebook ads or the tweets or the billboards or the Happy Meal toys, let me fill you in on something pretty big: There's a new Star Wars movie coming out, and it's a pretty freaking huge deal! Star Wars: The Last Jedi comes out next Friday, Dec. 15, and people are so incredibly excited about it that one sex toy company has even created a Star Wars sex toy line, called "Star Toys," as a form of celebration.
Yep, that's right. Star Wars sex toys are actually a thing that exist in the world. There really is something for everyone out there. Geeky Sex Toys, the same company that created those Pokèmon sex toys way back when the Pokèmon Go craze started, has now released a line of Star Wars-themed toys in anticipation of the new film. "This year we had a bunch of requests for different types of sex toys based around [villain] characters," Geeky Sex Toys co-founder, who only goes by the name of "Emma," told Mashable. "We decided that our Star Toys range was a great way to introduce a new level of kink to our products."
Think this might be the perfect think to get the Star Wars lover in your life? Check out of few of the toys in the line below:
"Lube up your blaster and thrust it chewie. Hand Solo frozen in carbonite silicone is every intergalactic smugglers fantasy," the product description reads. "The feeling of soft squishy silicone with smooth internal ribbing makes you feel like you're on cloud city." BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.
The product description reads just like a quote from Yoda himself:
Much pleasure I sense in this dildo, tempted by the darkside you will be...When 900 years old you reach, look as good, your dick will not...Do or do not, there is no try...
Sure, you may not really want to be thinking about Yoda while you're getting your sexy time on, but a very fun time, this toy will make.
The toy you never knew you needed, this Star Wars-themed bondage kit will definitely keep the force with you in the bedroom.
"It's time to complete your training," the product description reads. "Illuminate your sex life with our incredible LED Laser Swords! Feel the force flow through you as you give in to your geek side."
If blue isn't your favorite color, don't fret! This toy also comes in red and green. And the fun doesn't stop with just sex! If you and a partner both have one, you can challenge each other to a lightsaber duel after you... you know.
You may have already tried a few massaging wands but have you ever tried out "the most bad ass massaging wand in the Galaxy," according to Geeky Sex Toys? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Allow C3-Plug to introduce himself, courtesy of the toy's description: "I am C3-Plug - human/anal relations. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication with a specialty in anal arousal."
THE CUTEST, GEEKIEST BUTT PLUG THERE EVER WAS.
All right, now, go forth and shop, people. May the force be with you.
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