Here’s Why Experts Say You Shouldn’t Give Gifts On Valentine’s Day In A New Relationship

There is a lot of pressure on Valentine's Day for anyone in a relationship, but it may actually feel even more complicated and fraught for brand new couples. That’s because you might not have a ton of history and the relationship is just starting to find its footing, when bam! It's V-Day, and you're presented with a lot of tricky traditions and expectations. But is that something you even really need to worry about in a new relationship, if it just so happened to have started right before the holiday hits? Should you even worry about exchanging gifts on Valentine’s Day if you just started dating? If so, what would you even get them? After all, you don't want to disappoint your new boo but, at the same time, you don't want to be doing way too much and make it weird.

So, to help sort through this whole balancing act, I reached out to an expert: Erica Gordon, millennial dating expert, founder of The Babe Report, and author of Aren't You Glad You Read This?. She assures Elite Daily it doesn’t really have to be all that complicated. Here'as how she suggests you handle the holiday so you can just relax and enjoy, instead of sweating about giving the right gift.

How soon is too soon?

According to Gordon, there should be no rush or pressure to give a Valentine’s Day gift to someone you just recently began dating. In fact, she says there's no requirement for any relationship that hits V-Day before the half-year mark. “You should not expect to exchange gifts with someone you've been dating for less than six months,” Gordon tells Elite Daily. “The expectations are still quite low in the first six months, as two people are figuring out if they see a long-term relationship working out. That being said, it's rare that someone would expect a gift from you if they've been dating you for under six months.”

How to celebrate V-day with a new partner

Just because you aren’t expected to go all-out on a holiday gift, that doesn't mean you can't celebrate a romantic holiday together, says Gordon. In fact, using Valentine’s Day as an excuse to spend some quality time together is actually a great idea. “If you're newly dating, a date night is more than enough of a gift. A nice Valentine's Day dinner out at a restaurant is all you need to offer your new sweetie. No lavish gifts are necessary at this stage,” explains Gordon.

If you’re going to give them a gift, what would be appropriate early on?

But what if your love language is gifts and you're just the type of partner who loves to show people you care with thoughtful presents? In that case, as Gordon explains in a piece on The Babe Report, it really depends on what stage you’re at. “You have to ask yourself if you see the relationship potentially going somewhere,” Gordon writes. “If you do, you might want to give a small Valentine’s gift, but it shouldn’t be anything too extravagant.” Her suggestion for ideal gift: “A fun heart-shaped gift would work perfectly in this situation … a heart-shaped box of chocolates is an appropriate gift for this stage in a relationship.”

While it’s definitely helpful to have these Valentine’s Day etiquette guidelines, every relationship is a little different. If you aren’t sure what to do, then play it cool. If your heart says you are ready to go all out for V-Day, however, then go for it and embrace the holiday spirit.