Should I Double Text? I Do It All The Time, & You Should, Too


If you're going to be friends with me, and even more so if you're going to date me, I've gotta be real with you: You're going to put up with a lot of weird and probably annoying sh*t. I crave affection constantly. My immune system and I have been feuding for years, so I'm always sick. I'll play the "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" game for, like, eight years. Oh, and I double text all the time. In fact, I don't even stop at double texting. I will triple, quadruple, quintuple, and sextuple text you until every single thought in my head at that moment is typed and sent in little, blue blocks. I can't help it. And you know what? I'm not going to change any time soon. But be aware, I didn't always have this IDGAF attitude about multiple texts.

When I had just started high school (aka when phones started having full keyboards and T9 was only for losers), I quickly learned that, socially speaking, there was much more to the ins and outs of texting than just having something to say to someone and sending a quick message or two. I remember texting someone I liked at the time — though her feelings for me hadn't ventured past friendship at this point. We were just having a casual conversation. Nothing fancy. I responded to her last text with a comment about something she said, and I waited. And I waited some more... and I waited some more.

A few hours had passed, but I had long since stopped paying attention to my phone at that point, and TBH, I didn't even remember what I had texted her last. I wasn't hanging on to my phone anymore, counting down the seconds until her name popped up on my screen again. (Seriously, I wasn't.) I was back to perusing the interwebs, laughing at the old-school internet memes with the big, white text. I found one that made me crack up, and I knew the person I was texting would like it. Without giving anything a second thought, I took a picture of the meme with my phone (I KNOW, OK? ROAST ME LATER) and sent it to her with a message that read, "Also, LMAO." I soon learned that, apparently, I committed a cardinal texting sin: I double texted.

The thing is, I didn't even know what I did would be perceived as "wrong." Until this person confronted me, saying my double text allegedly meant I was texting her too much, I had no idea two texts in a row would brand me a stage-five clinger. Regardless, I was completely mortified, and for a long time, I vowed never to double text again. I kept anything funny I saw or any subsequent thoughts I wanted to share completely to myself... that is, until I realized that mentality was utter bullsh*t.

You see, some people, much like my crush at the time, might view multiple texts in a row as an annoying stream of consciousness — a sign that you'll keep a conversation going at all costs and you're dying for them to respond, so help you, God. And of course, if you're firing off multiple texts to someone you aren't close to (yet), with only one or two words in each one (something dating expert Meredith Golden described to Elite Daily as "barking"), then yeah, that's probably a little much. And sure, maybe the next messages you're sending your crush should be meaningful in some way. Eric Resnick, dating coach and Profile Helper founder told Elite Daily, "[Double texting] can definitely read as a desperate move, so be sure to only do it if it's going to really pack a punch."

But if you're talking to someone you like, you're not pressuring them to respond, and you're not sending 36 messages in a row that spell out some variation of "LOVE ME, GOD DAMNIT," then you really shouldn't GAF about shooting multiple texts. To me, double texting mostly closely mimics a normal conversation you'd have with someone in person — one that doesn't involve perfectly structured, yet longwinded paragraphs. One where you might breathe for a second between your thoughts, because likely, you haven't formed an A+ thesis with solid supporting arguments in your head just yet. One in which you're allowed to speak openly about whatever it is you're thinking with someone you're close to.

Double texting shows that I'm a person with free-flowing thoughts. It shows I value the opinions of the person I'm talking to, because otherwise, I wouldn't share my thoughts with them.

Conversations — yes, even digital ones — usually have a pretty natural ebb and flow all their own, which doesn't necessarily involve a completely balanced, single-thought exchange. For example, if a conversation I'm having with a friend tapers off into comfortable silence, and I was the one who had the last word, I'm still at liberty to share another thought that pops into my head after a while, assuming my friend showed no signs of continuing the first conversation we were having.

Double texting shows that I'm a person with free-flowing thoughts. It shows I value the opinions of the person I'm talking to, because otherwise, I wouldn't share my thoughts with them. For all intents and purposes, it shows I'm a human with a literally mind-blowing piece of advanced technology in my hands — someone who doesn't have to get all her thoughts out in one sitting because this isn't the freaking Pony Express.

If you're a person with multiple meaningful thoughts to text someone you like, and you're high-key freaking out because you didn't send everything you wanted to say in one text, just send another damn text. (But don't get crazy. Apparently, sending a skull emoji 86 times is f*cking weird and will make people say, "Please stop doing that.") If that person doesn't appreciate you sharing your very important thoughts with them, then they don't deserve them. So go ahead. Double text until your heart's content. And if anyone gives you trouble, send 'em my way. I've got a skull emoji, an iPhone, and two thumbs, and I'm not afraid to use 'em.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Elite Daily on YouTube

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!