Relationships

People Are Tweeting #NeverOnAFirstDate & It's The Most Relatable Thing Ever

by Candice Jalili
Stocksy/Carles Rodrigo Monzo

We talk a lot about what we *should* do on a first date. Be polite. Be honest, but not too honest. Dress up. Order whatever you want (but maybe avoid foods that make you gassy). Offer to pay. Listen attentively to what your date has to say. Be flirty. Go home with them if you want to and, if you don't, don't! But along with all of those rules for what you should do, there are plenty of rules for what you shouldn't do. People are taking to Twitter to share these rules and the #NeverOnAFirstDate tweets are so relatable that I dare you to read along without exclaiming a resounding same.

Got a date sometime soon? Don't worry, these Twitter users have got you covered with helpful reminders to refrain from doing things like farting (been there), burping (been there even more), accidentally blabbing about everything you learned about them from your intense research (yep, you guessed it, been there), spend all night gabbing about your ex (been there and he wasn't even a real ex) and showing up so late that you miss the actual date (TBH, shocked I haven't been there more frequently). And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Read along and drink in the hilarious words of wisdom.

A first date probably isn't the time or place to let one rip.

Plans for world domination are realistically best kept to yourself.

Try to make sure your date is older than your vehicle.

Save your burps for after the first kiss.

Always be nice to your server. Even after the first date.

Maybe save your doll collection for after you tie the knot.

Don't treat yourself to a bite of their food. It's THEIRS.

Getting their early is fine but don't make yourself at home TOO early on.

Make sure you won't have to run away before you throw on those uncomfortable high heels.

If you want to stalk them before the date, that's your call but, whatever you do, DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU LEARNED.

Make sure to burn it into your head that there is no "us" yet.

If you have an ankle bracelet, make sure it's decorative... not court ordered.

Save your wedding gown for... your WEDDING DAY.

Talk about your ex with your friends; not your date.

Let's save baby names for when you're actually having a baby.

The only thing worse than talking about your future unborn babies? Planning getting buried together.

A date probably isn't the place to be bragging... about being bad at dates.

It's cool that you have a parole officer and all but... let's just say it's not exactly brag-worthy.

If you want to marry her that's fine! Just maybe keep it to yourself for a little bit first.

REFRAIN from making that disgusting noodle-slurping sound.

Deodorant is an absolute and total must.

Maybe ask your mom to co-sign your car loan before you hit up this virtual stranger.

There's a difference between being fashionably late and being blatantly rude.

Maybe call your meth dealer back after the date.

Discussing pre-nuptial agreements shouldn't happen before tying the knot.

OK, now that you've read all of those and hopefully let out a few LOLs, can I say something? Well, I can't hear your answer so I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway. We can obviously sit here and joke about all of the things you aren't "supposed" to say or do on a first date but, honestly, I think there's no better time to start being totally, completely, unapologetically yourself than the very beginning of a relationship.

Let me explain. If you go into that first date full throttle, all you in the most intense way possible, you're immediately showing the person you're on a date with what they're working with. If they like you and want to continue going out with you, it's because they like the real you — not some caricature of yourself you created just to impress them. And I'd bet good money that the real you (burps, farts, and all) is a billion times better than the one who's holding back on all of those natural impulses.

And there's one more bonus of being yourself right off the bat. By being totally and completely yourself, you're giving your date permission to be totally and completely themselves. This is a good thing because you get to know who your date really is right off the bat instead of waiting months for their true colors to shine through.

So... I guess what I'm trying to say here is (unless it's illegal or blatantly disrespectful) I don't believe in making #NeverOnAFirstDate rules.

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