Is there anything better than a dude fight on The Bachelorette? Becca's season has already seen plenty of drama (helloooo, Lincoln), but on Monday night's episode, the ongoing tension between Jordan and literally everyone else took center stage. In true dude fight fashion, Jordan and David's fight on The Bachelorette was completely stupid and totally unnecessary — and yet I somehow couldn't look away. Honestly, how does ABC find these guys?
In case you forgot, Jordan is a model, and he brings it up practically every chance he gets. At the end of season's second episode, Jordan stripped down and pranced around the mansion in just his underwear, presumably to show Becca that he's totally comfortable in his own skin? It was classic "I'm a model, look at me" behavior (there's a dude like that on every season of The Bachelorette), and naturally, it didn't sit well with everyone — including David (chicken suit guy), who expressed his frustration to Becca during Monday night's episode.
During the episode, Jordan humble-bragged that he matched with over 4,000 women on Tinder during 2017 and said that he's basically at a 100% match rate. "I go one-for-one. I think if I slide right on someone, they slide right on me," he bragged to a group of guys after the group date. Ick.
Clearly, David was just as grossed out, because he used the conversation as an opportunity to tell Becca all the reasons why Jordan is a slime ball. During the cocktail party after the group date, David pulled Becca aside and told her that Jordan is "always bragging about his Tinder," which isn't exactly what you want a guy you're dating to be talking about 24/7.
Later, the feud between Jordan and David escalated when Jordan learned what David told Becca, and for some reason they hashed things out in front of the other guys (all of whom felt very awkward). David clearly pushed Jordan's buttons when he asked if he was getting the "pensive look" or the "Clint Eastwood look," and Jordan immediately responded with a long monologue about how important his image is because — yes, you guess it — he's a model. "If you're trying to wreck my image, you'll never succeed. Because, do you know why? Because my image is me." Tough words from a guy who was so clearly cast on a reality TV show to play the villain for laughs.
As hilariously entertaining as Jordan and David's fight was, nothing was better than the guys' reactions. Who are you in this scenario? Are you Jean Blanc, who keeps drinking in the hopes of forgetting everything that's going on around him? Maybe you're hiding behind your jacket like Lincoln? Or perhaps you're Jason, who spends the entire conversation trying not to burst out laughing. Please tag yourself in this totally ridiculous, dumb drama.
Things got even worse when Jordan called David a "bitch" for telling Becca about his Tinder matches. "Hey, cheers to you being a bitch," said Jordan before running off to talk to Becca for himself. Becca, for her part, didn't really seem to care, and she quickly changed the subject to ask about what he's like in a relationship. Good for you, Becca.
As soon as Jordan and David's fight broke out, Bachelor Nation practically lost their minds on Twitter. And can you really blame them?
Jordan and David's fight could have ended with Becca saying "Yo, I don't care," but this is The Bachelorette, so of course that's not what happened. Instead, Jordan told David that karma was going to come for him, and he promised that people who go against him "just end up hurt some times." Yes, because someone who tells a girl that you're a sleaze ball totally deserves to be physically harmed?
Hopefully, Jordan's threat doesn't become a reality. There's enough toxic masculinity going around this season of The Bachelorette as it is.