Is He A Keeper Or A Player? 3 Signs The Person You're Seeing Isn't Wasting Your Time
Can a keeper still be a flirt? Or is "are they a keeper or a player?" really all you're wondering about? I would argue that just because the person you are seeing enjoys chatting up different people, doesn't necessarily mean they're a player. Someone can enjoy meeting different people, casually flirting, and expressing genuine interest and enthusiasm for strangers while still being deeply committed to you. If the person you are seeing actually is a keeper, then they will have found a way to make it evident that the two of you are going to stick together, giving you very little reason for doubt.
The person you are seeing has to value your time in order to prove they aren't wasting it. That doesn't mean that you can control how much or how little they actually care, but you certainly can pick up on the signs. A person who values your time will let you know why they didn't call you back. You won't have to worry about them being out with somebody else, because you both will have made your boundaries clear and will have proven to one another that you respect them. Here's what else a keeper does to earn your trust:
1. They Always Tell The Truth
A player is dishonest, dating expert and relationship writer Demetrius Figueroa told Elite Daily. Sometimes, they're even dishonest by omission. "Does he spend a lot of time hanging out with 'friends,' none of which he bothers to mention the names of?" asked Figueroa. If you've had a conversation about exclusivity, but you still don't know whom they're seeing, then that's cause for a red flag.
When the person you're seeing is a keeper, you'll never feel suspicious about their behavior. They won't give you any cause to, because they'll be so trustworthy that what they tell you won't ever put up red flags. They won't even be dishonest by omission. If they've kept you waiting, you don't feel crazy or paranoid asking a keeper where they've been because a keeper is always receptive to your worries and concerns.
2. They Keep Their Commitments
When a keeper says they'll show, they'll show. Getting a date with them won't feel like a job you're trying to land. They'll be available to you, physically and emotionally.
You usually aren't left in the dark about what a keeper is up to, either. You might not know their every single move throughout the day, but you are aware of their general routine. A player, Figueroa said, is much more elusive. "If he's [not being specific] about where he's been, who he was with, why he was busy, or anything else like that, that should be a clear sign to you that he's a player," he explained.
3. They Are Specific About Wants And Desires
When you're dating a keeper, you know exactly what they want and need and haven't pressured you to be with them either way. You know what they want out of a commitment, and it's more than just sex. You can have a conversation about your relationship and know that they will stick to the terms.
To be fair, a person can't really be proven untrustworthy if you haven't had the exclusivity talk with them yet. But a keeper will be receptive to having the conversation, because they will be as invested in your happiness as they are in their own. They will want to hear what you want and need in order to be happy in a relationship and will be just as excited to explore your connection as you are to delve into the one you have with them.
Anything less than that, and the person you're seeing isn't a keeper. They're either a player or they still have some room to improve.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!