If Your Partner Takes Forever To Text Back, Here's What Experts Suggest
We've all had those moments when we just straight-up forgot to text someone back. Maybe you responded in your head but never actually hit send, or you were busy when they texted you and forgot to get back to them. It happens to all of us. However, there is a difference between forgetting to immediately text back once in a while, and constantly being out of reach. If the latter sounds familiar, then knowing how to ask your partner to text back faster without coming on too strong might be helpful.
First of all, before you bring it up to your partner, make sure you check in with yourself, one expert says. "Context matters here," Anita A. Chlipala, dating and relationships expert, tells Elite Daily. "Is your partner taking an hour to respond but you want a response right away, or are they continually taking hours to get back to you?" she asks. "It's important for you to check your expectations and see if they're realistic. People are busy and won't always get back to you on your timeline. If it's a consistent pattern that makes you feel disconnected, insecure, and brings anxiety, then it's time for a conversation with your partner." If it's an issue, talk it out, as Chlipala says, so that you and your partner can figure out a solution you're both happy with.
You shouldn't feel awkward about bringing this up. "Good texting skills are a sign of respect and clear communication," James Preece, The Dating Guru dating coach and relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. "Texting back shows they are interested in you and that you are on their mind. They are missing you and are curious about what you are up to." So no, you're not being irrational if you want your partner to text you back in a timely manner.
To communicate how you feel to your partner, Preece says to be honest, but also understanding. "Tell them how much you love hearing from them and that it makes you feel special," he explains. "Some people are more talkers than texters, but let them know you'd like to have a little more contact." Additionally, Preece says to understand that work or day-to-day obligations can totally get in the way of your partner texting you back, but to let your partner know that's not really an excuse if this is a repeated pattern, and more effort from them is something you need in order to feel secure in your relationship. "It's fine to be busy but it's easy to send a quick text," he adds.
Finally, in addition to honesty, Chlipala recommends being totally transparent with your significant other. "Your partner needs to know why you want to hear from them faster," she says. "Be vulnerable. Whether it's because you're anxious or you're looking for reassurance, convey what hearing from them more quickly would mean for you and what it does to you when you don't hear from them." If you struggle with anxiety, for example, then let them know that not hearing from them really brings that to the forefront for you.
If you've been able to be totally honest, understanding, and transparent with your partner, that's great! Hopefully the two of you can work on a texting solution you're both happy with. However, Chlipala says it might not be that easy. "They also have to understand your perspective but they don't necessarily have to agree," she says. If that's the case, she says to ask them questions about why they don't text as quickly. "For them it might be about independence or they need space sometimes," she says.
Whatever the case or reason is, you and your partner both deserve honesty and good communication. The thing is, you have to work together to decide what that looks like for you as a couple. But with honesty and open communication from both partners, as the experts advise, you're sure to get on the right track.