Think of your friend group. Now think of the person who is constantly making sure that you're drinking enough water and being the voice of reason when you want to drop a ton of money on an extravagant handbag. Can't think of her? It's probably you. If you're the mom of your friend group, you know that these things are true AF.
You're probably the one who volunteers to be DD, you set your friends' morning alarms when you know they're going to be out late, and you remind them to text their actual parents every once in a while.
For as long as I can remember, my friends have always called me "mom." And even though my friend groups have changed so many times, the title has stuck with me. I used to hate it — even though I knew it was a term of endearment — because I thought it meant that I was too conservative or that I wasn't cool enough to be in the same category as the rest of my friends. But as I've matured and — in my opinion — really grown into the description, I proudly wear the title as a badge of honor.
Through its ups and downs, pros and cons, good days and bad nights, here are some things I've learned during my tenure as a permanent friend group mom.
You're the kind of friend who knows everyone's schedules so you can surprise them with coffee after class or coordinate an impromptu friend group hang during the 15 minutes you all have free on Thursday afternoons. This also means that when someone calls out of work sick or decides to ditch class to go to a guest lecture, it throws a total wrench in your ability to mom. (Bonus points if you remember their schedules without having them written down anywhere.)
Your friends also likely ask you to teach them things, or do things that they don't know how to do. From sewing on a loose button to French-braiding pigtails, your gals can always count on you to answer the phone when they're in crisis mode. You're a jack-of-all-trades who can change a tire or teach someone how to properly cold brew coffee. And even more, you're more than happy to help out your friends, because they count on and love you.
Speaking from personal experience, most friend moms are notoriously Type-A: You love being the person who everyone asks to make plans or make big group decisions. This also means that, with all of your extensive planning and careful decision making, when things don't go according to the game plan, you are on it.
"No, he's not good for you."
"Yes, you should definitely delete that picture from Instagram."
You're the person who everyone comes to for real, honest advice. It can get exhausting always trying to make unbiased, potentially-life-altering decisions for your friends, but you feel comfort in knowing that they trust you with their most intimate secrets.
Obviously, real motherhood is another topic for another day, and you won't actually know what it's like until you do it for real (if you choose to). But in your mind, you're going to be the best. mom. ever. You've had so much practice sharing all your friends' successes and losses, and feel them as though they're your own.
In true mama bear fashion, if any of your friends is ever hurt, you're ready to pounce on whatever (or whomever) hurt them. Your friends love this protective instinct about you, and they always feel safe when they're hanging out with you.
You're so busy keeping up with what everyone else in your friend group is doing, sometimes you forget that you have a life of your own. You take on their problems as though they're your own, and while your friends are appreciative, they want you to be able to live your life, too. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, they really can get by without you every once in a while.
Don't forget to pamper yourself and practice a little self-care. (Don't worry: Your friends' problems will still be there when you get back.) You take your mom responsibilities seriously — that's why you're the friend mom, and your girls will always love you for it.
