When you've got a new person in your life that you're texting, it can be easy to get lost in your conversations, eagerly wait by your phone for that notification, and accidentally give them your whole life story. Whether it's a new match on Tinder or a set-up from a friend, you're excitement can turn into texting them maybe a bit too often, and sharing a little too much about your life. If you're single and feel bad at texting, there are definitely easy fixes to maybe coming off a little too strong right off the bat.
When I text people I like, I often have no issue sending multiple texts in a row, texting first, and seeming a little too into it. But then, if I lose interest, I can easily kind of... disappear. I know it's not the best habit and I'm working on it. Luckily, I talked to some dating experts about how to fix bad texting habits when you're single. Anything texting-wise you're doing that isn't yielding the results you want, there's a reason the other person may be backing off a little because of it. But no fear, there are solutions! Read on to see what the experts had to say.
It may be a little too old-school to play games, but you don't want to come off as extremely available, either. Show interest, but refrain yourself from texting constantly at all hours of the day. Preserve a little bit of mystery for them to get to know you in person.
"It’s great to hear from someone to brighten your day, but if your crush sends you a 6 a.m. text to say good morning and try to pin you down for a date before you’ve even woken up, it can be a turn-off," Julie Spira, online dating expert, tells Elite Daily.
"If you say it all in text, there’s less to talk about in person which makes for an awkward date, and increases the likelihood that you won’t get a second date," Dr. Darcy Sterling, Tinder’s dating and relationship trend expert tells Elite Daily.
Your excitement may get the best of you when you're chatting up a new potential special someone. You may want to spill all the deets of your life story, but hold up! Leave something for the dates.
"When you’re meeting someone new online, hopefully your goal will be to meet IRL and see if there’s a connection," Spira says. "If someone is revealing their entire life story in text messages, it doesn’t leave much for [the imagination]. I say, ‘Leave the novel at home.’ Keep your text messages short."
It's understandable that you can't be waiting around your phone all day texting your new crush. However, there's a respectful way to let them know you can't talk anymore if you were in the midst of a convo. Just tell 'em before completely disappearing for awhile.
"Say, 'Gotta run now. More later,'" Sterling suggests. "And that tells your match that you’re still interested in continuing the conversation, and that you also have a life, which ultimately makes you more attractive."
Sure, texting is great and all, but if you live in the same general area, you should be trying to transition your texting to IRL talking.
"You’ve matched," Sterling says. "They’re amazing. And it’s been days of text flirting. Close. The. Deal. Schedule the date. Don’t become another online dating statistic who fails to move from the app to the date!"
According to a Tinder study, around 95 percent of users who meet up will meet up within two to seven days of matching with each other. So after you've decided you're interested in that person, make plans — before it's too late.
Save big emotional reveals for in-person conversations, as opposed to sending over text. It could come off as disingenuous for you to make such a bold romantic move via text, like the person may not believe you — especially if it's so soon.
"If someone texts you before or after a first date saying, ‘I could see myself falling in love with you,’ or ‘I’ve never felt this way before,’ you won’t really know if you’re in rotation with someone who is copying and sending that texts to others, or if someone is a bit needy, which is a turn-off," Spira says. "Love takes time and saying ‘I love you’ should be in person."
But don't worry! Spira says there are ways to fix any texting mistakes you may have made.
"If you’ve sent messages that were too long, or overwhelmed the other person, walk away from your phone for a while, or even a day," she says. "Send a short follow up a day later, with just a few words. Don’t forget to watch your grammar, because text talk and acronyms aren’t always understood by everyone."
So even if you eagerly text that person, don't fear. It's not over until it's over, and if they're still talking to you, that's a good sign.
