If You're Going To A Wedding When You're Single & Sad About It, Here Are 5 Ways To Cope
Every time I watch two humans declare "I got you, babe," in front of an audience the size of a small cult, I sweat from my eyes. IMO, tissues are the most important wedding outfit accessory. But with the happy tears comes the existential thinking. There's nothing like a cocktail-fueled party dedicated to someone else's love to make you reconsider where you're at in life in the relationship department. Going to a wedding when you're single is emotional enough when you're not looking for a relationship. (Pass me that second piece of cake, please!) And if you are looking for something serious? Weddings are a doom spiral waiting to happen.
Unfortunately for forlorn singles looking to avoid the fact that love exists, the thing about weddings is that you have to attend them. (Especially if you're 29, and people are shacking up weekly all summer long. Shout out to my life.) If you're bummed about being single and having to attend a bunch of weddings stag, I can tell you "you're not alone," or "reframe your thinking," but I know it doesn't exactly help you when everyone gets on the floor when K-Ci and Jojo's "All My Life" starts to play.
I've been there, and I get it. Being single when you want to be with someone sucks, and I applaud you for recognizing that you actually want a partner. (I sometimes have taken the path of "chill single girl," when really, I wanted a boyfriend and I wanted him immediately.) But because I get it, rather than suggesting you journal to manifest your future partner before the wedding, I'm going to break down some really practical pieces of advice for how to survive when you are single at the wedding. You got this.
1. Find a wedding buddy.
Here's some not-so-hot goss: you are not, and will never be, the only single person at the wedding. Talk to the bride (well in advance of the wedding) to see who else is going, or text that friend you know is also going alone. Room together, joke about being wedding dates together, have a third martini together, because why the eff not?
I also have enjoyed finding a couple — especially a married couple — who doesn't mind a third wheel accompanying them in a cab or on the dance floor. I bring the excitement of single life and dating stories, they bring the open arms and tales of marriage and how it's not always as magical as a wedding day makes it look.
2. Take a break during a slow song.
Sometimes, feeling sad about single can be more about feeling like the "other" than actually feeling depressed that you don't have a boo on your arm at one particular wedding. My move when there's a slow song and I feel completely pathetic sitting on the side, alone at a table? I go to the bar, then go phone a friend. Or just redo my makeup at the bathroom. Or anything. When something makes you feel bad (you know, except for the actual exchange of vows) just walk away from it! Avoidance is fine if you are single and at a wedding.
3. Engage in innocent smack talk.
I told you these weren't going to be "woo woo" tips. While generally, it's pretty rude to criticize the bride and groom on their wedding day, or really, it's pretty rude to trash talk anyone at all, there's no harm in very quietly whispering or texting a friend from home about how weird something about the day was. Remembering that just because two people are getting married, it doesn't necessarily mean that everything is all ponies and rainbows. I told you I was going to be real with you. Want a quick fix? Gossip a little bit, just be discreet.
4. Challenge yourself to flirt with one person.
Yes, even if there are no eligible singles under 75, make it your goal to talk to one new person in a flirtatious way. Weddings are great places to meet people, and even if you don't find a crush, they're great places to practice opening up. If you're looking for a relationship and single, chances are you're holding yourself back more than anything else. Challenging yourself to talk with one new cutie is a great way to put in the effort towards the thing you want most. Plus, single people love hooking up at weddings. (Maybe go for someone below the age of 75, though, if you can.)
5. Fake it till you make it.
Tough love time: it's a wedding. People are happy, and you should be too, or at least you should pretend to be. Today is not about your relationship status, it's about some lucky motherf*ckers who found each other. No, you don't need to "reframe your thinking," because I am not a therapist. For a quick fix, just put a fake smile on. It might actually lead to a real one. If it doesn't, it's OK, but at least you will look happy in the pictures!
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