I wouldn't consider myself a jealous person. If anything, I may be too trusting. But even I've had times in my life when the ugly green monster known as jealousy was living rent-free in my mind and heart. I was miserable. Sometimes the jealousy was warranted, but mostly I was just feeling the ghosts of heartbreak's past coming back to haunt me. Other times it was over a misunderstanding which, once addressed with my partner, made letting go of the jealous feelings much easier. If this is sounding familiar, but it's your partner's jealousy that’s too intense, Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples' therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily it's best to confront the issue head-on and with a healthy dose of empathy.
"It is a very common experience," says Dr. Brown. "When someone is feeling jealous, they are feeling scared and they are also saying that this relationship is important enough to them to feel threatened. The question is not so much, ‘Do you feel jealous?' but more ‘Are you feeling so jealous and possessive that it is threatening your relationship?'" he explains. While it may be common to experience some fleeting moments of jealousy in a relationship, there are times when it can be a greater cause for concern, Dr. Brown reveals. "You should definitely become concerned if it is threatening your relationship; if one of the partners is feeling excessively possessive and controlling; and if jealousy is now one of the main themes in your relationship." If any of this is hitting close to home, here is how Dr. Brown says you should proceed.