If You Haven't Gotten A Text After A Great Date, An Expert Reveals What To Do
You just went on a fantastic date. You actually had a decent time with that other person, but you haven't gotten a text after a great date. You're wondering what you should do, and how to approach the situation. Do you wait for them to reach out? How long should you give them? Are they maybe also waiting for you to say something first, and you're worried you're both waiting it out for no reason?
It can be tricky to determine what you should do in this situation, and you don't want to ruin a good thing right after it started. You might not want to seem overeager, but you might want to express a level of interest indicating you want to see them again. When it comes to heterosexual dating, there's a long tradition of people believing that men should initiate contact. If that's your preference, fine — but if that tradition doesn't suit you, there's no need to sit around waiting for a text. Take control of your dating life, let people know you're interested, and if they aren't, you can move on the next one.
I spoke to Julie Spira, online dating expert, on what the ideal text to send is and when you should send it after a great date.
"These days it’s fine for both women and men [regardless of sexuality] to send the first text after a great first date," Spira tells Elite Daily. "Sending a text that says, 'I had a blast last night,' along with a wink or smile [emoji] will put a smile on the face of your date and will usually result in a reply."
This text opens the door for a conversation and will naturally allow them to respond how they see fit. Plus, the casual tone can easily be played down if they don't feel the same way down the line.
Spira recommends texting that person after your date as opposed to waiting it out to see if they'll reach out first.
"I don’t believe in playing waiting games," she says. "In the digital dating world, things move at a fast pace. It’s also likely your date isn’t sure how you feel."
If you're wondering the logistics of when exactly to send that text, Spira suggests sending it in the morning time.
"You should consider the time of day or night before pushing the send button," she says. "A good morning text is a great idea."
And if you want to embellish your text with a little bit of emoji action? Go for it, Spira says.
"I love sending emojis, as you don’t hear the sound of someone’s voice, and they clearly send the signal if someone is flirting or angry," she says.
So it's entirely OK for you to take control of the situation. If you had a good time with that person on your date, trust that there may be a variety of reasons they aren't texting you first. One of them being, they may simply be waiting from that text from you as well. So send over a text, see where it goes, and maybe it'll just so happen to secure your next date.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!