Life Coaches Explain How To Reduce Tension With Your Partner's Roommate
One of the fun parts of having a significant other is all of the slumber parties you get to have together. You probably stay at their place a lot, and vice versa, and you may become practically another roommate at their place. Unfortunately, if you don't get along with your significant other's roommate, it may make things uncomfortable when you sleep over. It could be subtle, like they may give you a look when you walk through the door, or more obvious, like make sarcastic comments about how you should pay rent since you're always around.
I sought out some advice from life coaches Nina Rubin (no relation) and Pricilla Martinez to figure out what you should do if you know your SO's roommate just doesn't like you. Or if you have an inkling that they don't like you. Either way, you want to find a solution that works for everyone.
"You grin and bear it," Rubin tells Elite Daily. "Maybe your partner and the roomie are very close. Or perhaps your partner doesn’t care for them either, but it’s a workable situation for them. It’s best to be polite and cordial. If you sleep over often, be sure you clean up your messes and straighten up the spaces that are being used by all of you."
Martinez offers another approach. She recommends you find common ground with your partner's roommate — figure out a way to coexist with them in their space.
"Most often, when [someone] has an issue with you being in their space or become territorial, it’s because something about having you there requires them to adjust their behavior," Martinez says. "Maybe they have to dress differently or can’t watch the big TV, maybe you drank the last of the milk again. The point is, your presence requires an adjustment they feel forced to make. Try confining yourself to your partner's bedroom for a day. See how [their] roommate’s behavior changes."
Martinez says that you may be able to tell the roommate doesn't like you if their conversations with you are short and to-the-point or if they avoid you.
"However, you need to be careful about making assumptions because sometimes they are just trying to give their roommate the necessary space to be with you," she says.
Some more suggestions, according to Rubin, are switching up which place you stay at to avoid too many consecutive nights at one place. She also advises you to maybe invite that roommate to hang out with you and your partner in the living room, or have a meal with you two. That way, they won't feel so exiled from their living space with you being there.
Even though you are your partner's guest while in their home, you have to remember their roommate deserves feeling comfortable in the space as well. If you being there so often is a serious issue, you need to come to some sort of compromise that works for you, your partner, and the roommate, too.