I Don't Do Bikini Waxes, Never Have, & Never Will: Here's Why


All right, maybe diving into my personal grooming habits on the internet is not the brightest idea I've ever had. But hey, since we're all here, let's get right into it, shall we? I don't do bikini waxes. I know, I know — how on earth could a 20-something, single gal like myself not wax, right? Allow me to explain.

In case this was unclear, waxing — specifically, waxing the bikini and Brazilian regions (that's your mons pubis, labia, and butt crack, guys) — involves pouring hot wax all over the most sensitive portion of your body and then ripping all of your hair off with force. It sounds like the kind of thing twisted, medieval patriarchs might have done to punish disgraced knights, not something millennial women would spend 50 bucks (plus tip!) to have done every few weeks at European Wax Center.

And yet — according to research conducted by the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at University of California, San Francisco — a whopping 80 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 24 have, or continue to, wax regularly.

Don't get me wrong: I totally support and respect women doing anything and everything they want to with their bodies. And if you're down to rip hair from your flesh for the sake of feeling like a baby seal, power to you! My goal in life has pretty much always been to have the body of a naked mole rat. So like, I get it. But there are just so many alternatives, you guys — from razors to trimmers to hair removal creams for sensitive skin.

I understand that for many, waxing is the best, easiest method (and a lot of women adjust to the pain after a while, or experience minimal pain). But I also get the impression that tons of women are waxing for the sake of their partner's pleasure, not their own (of the 80 percent surveyed, the majority suggested that they waxed to seem more desirable to their partners). And if you're doing this solely because it's what your S.O. prefers, then like, why the hell aren't they covering themselves in hot wax on a monthly basis, too?

According to the aforementioned study, only 19 percent of college-aged men were manscaping in some way (i.e. shaving, trimming, or getting "Brozilians," as they're called). Yet, 60 percent of those men say they prefer hairless partners. If that's not a rabid double standard, I'm not sure what is.

Women have to do so much to take care of our sexual and pelvic health, from Pap smears and birth control to investing in feminine hygiene products. (Did you know that the average woman spends nearly $20,000 on period-related items over the course of her lifetime? Oh, but white women only make 78 cents to the white man's dollar — and women of color make even less. Excuse me while I breathe into a paper bag for a minute).

Women also do things like grow new humans and then push them out of our bodies and into the world. Which is awesome, and important, and empowering. But why is the onus always on us?

If you want to wax — wax, girl! But if you feel like you owe it to your S.O. to wax? Please know that you definitely do not.

And until my (non-existent) boyfriend is down to drop hundreds of dollars to have someone pour hot wax all over the most sensitive parts of his body, I am 1000 percent not doing it, either.

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