5 Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Special, Based On Their Birth Order

by Ginny Hogan

Everyone loves to feel special. In fact, I might go so far as to say that the desire to feel special is the least unique thing about most people (except for me — I like feeling special in a very specific way). If you're in a relationship, and you're wondering how to make your partner feel special, their birth order could provide you with some key information. Not everything about someone is dictated by where they fall in their family's birth order, but you can get valuable information that could help you in your relationship.

I'm the third oldest of four. I feel like a middle child, but I also have youngest child tendencies because I'm in the bottom half. For me to feel special, I need to be given responsibilities, since those were often assigned to my older siblings instead of me. However, I still like to feel like the baby sometimes (especially when I'm at dinner with my parents and the check comes), and my birth order certainly has something to do with that. I understand how much my birth order affects me, so it's easy to see how it could affect my partner as well.

Read on to find out how to make your partner feel special, based on their birth order.

The Oldest Needs To Feel Cared For

An oldest child is used to having a lot of responsibility. They often are the ones who take care of their younger siblings when the parents or guardians are busy. If your significant other is an oldest child, they may love this responsibility, but they may also feel like they need a break sometimes. To make your SO feel special, let them know how much you value how organized and mature they are, but also let them know that you can take care of them if they're ever in need.

The Middle Wants To Be Seen

The middle child often craves feeling "seen." According to, a middle child is more likely to be a people-pleaser because they're seeking the affection of their parents, as well as siblings on the older and younger ends. If your SO is a middle child, let them know that you see them fully. They don't get lost in the shuffle — they're a high priority for you. This will allow your partner to relax into the relationship without having to worry about making a strong impression in order to be noticed.

The Youngest Wants You To Be Proud Of Them

A youngest child may feel the need to live up to their older siblings' achievements. According to Psychology Today, a youngest child often wants their successes to be praised more because they're constantly comparing themselves to their older siblings. Not all youngest children have this need for praise, but many do, so make sure you understand if your partner is insecure in any way. Communication is key to getting to the root of your partner's insecurities, and you should make sure they don't feel judged for opening up to yyou. If your significant other is the youngest, let them know that they're enough for you, and make sure you validate their successes. A youngest child wants to know that they're more than just the baby of the family, and this will help them feel special.

Twins Crave Feeling Unique

Twins are interesting in relationships because they've already shared their life with one person, in many ways. If you're dating a twin, you want to make sure they know that you see them as special and unique, rather than a carbon-copy of their sibling. Additionally, you want to respect the special bond they have with their twin, and they may feel special just by virtue of having that bond. Make them feel special by pointing out how unique they are, and let them know the specifics of what you love about them.

The Only Child Might Love The Company

Only children can make amazing partners because they've wanted more company their whole life. I've dated only children whom I found significantly more attentive and able to listen than other partners, and I appreciated that they might have had more solitude as a child. To make an only child feel special, let them know that you're there to keep them company — they don't have to fear loneliness. Of course, not all only children had lonely childhoods, but those who did may feel special knowing they now have a companion.

Birth order can affect many things about you, from what clothes you wear to how you relate to others. It can also affect what you need to feel special, so if you're looking to let your partner know how much you value them, consider their birth order. And if your partner doesn't match any of the typical trends from their birth order, that's totally OK too — only you know the relationship, and you can make them feel special in the ways you know work best for them.