How To Have The Most Epic New Year’s Kiss Of All Time

It's a little bit strange that the change from 2017 to 2018 means a bunch of people all kiss each other at the exact same moment (time zone dependent). Even stranger to me is the fact that these East Coast kisses will be spurred by a ball drop. (Couldn't help myself.) But seriously, when else is there actual peer pressure to kiss someone other than playing spin the bottle? Maybe under mistletoe? Here's the thing, single or not, if you want a kiss this year, you can have the most epic New Year's kiss of all time.

Before getting down to the nitty-gritty of how to make sure your midnight smooch is superb, I just want to shout out to all of you who don't care about kissing at midnight. It's a silly tradition, it's inconsequential, and you have every right to lie about being sick and stay home alone in bed instead because this is America, damnit!

However, if you're looking to have a really great kiss, a really great story, or just challenge yourself to doing something really out of character, here are my thoughts on how to have an epic New Year's kiss. I'm going to bring it all the way back to the "Five Ws" — who, what, where, when, and why. Here are my thoughts.

Who: Choose Your Target Wisely

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OK, so calling your potential kiss a target sounds like I'm encouraging you to assault someone, which I absolutely am not. That said, if you are looking to make a kiss happen and you're not in a relationship, it's important to think about who you want to swap saliva with (sorry) upon arrival at the party/weekend house/awful bar event/whatever. Having someone in mind from the start will make it more likely that you'll make it happen as long as the other party consents. I believe in you.

What: Figure Out What You Actually Want

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An actual hookup? A weird little peck? If you just want a random kiss for the sake of having a New Year's kiss, maybe your "who" should be that friend of yours you've always flirted with but never smooched. You have a "whatever, it's New Year's" excuse if it turns out awkwardly.

Where: Get Creative

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Yes, you could just snag your cutie in the living room in front of the TV displaying the ball drop, but you're reading an article about epic New Year's kisses, so I'm assuming you want to do better. Suggestions for locations include: in a hot tub after making bathing suit snow angels, in the literal street with an open bottle of champagne, in a bathroom for a super private celebration...

When: There Are Options

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OK, so if you didn't have a New Year's make out, but you're still looking to get that first kiss of 2018 within the first 24 hours, you're in luck. As the night creeps into day, other cuties at the party are likely to get more and more sauced. Again, consent is key, but why not have a 3 A.M. kiss with someone you maybe wouldn't normally make out with?

Why: Because!

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Why the eff not? New Year's Eve is an overwrought, bizarre faux-holiday we all celebrate to mitigate the existential crisis that is realizing that yet another of our lives have gone by. Have fun, kiss a person, life is short, so have a kiss.

And if you do have the most epic New Year's kiss of all time, please do report back. Smooches!

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