How To Get Over Someone Who Cheated On You, According To People Who've Been There

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It's 2018, and we're in something of a sexual revolution, which is awesome. In recent years, we've brought plenty of sex positivity into the mainstream and loosened the definitions of the types of romantic partnerships that are acceptable that have typically bound us in the past. Couples these days choose to get married later, have kids out of wedlock, and accept a spectrum of exclusivity agreements. And that's amazing. But for some in monogamous relationships, cheating is a devastating blow. And learning how to get over someone who cheated can be a complicated puzzle of emotions.

While strictly monogamous coupling, for some, may seem overly traditional, it doesn't change one simple fact: If you agree to be romantically, emotionally, and/or sexually exclusive with your partner, cheating is an egregious betrayal. In a recent Reddit thread, people shared their advice for getting over someone who cheated. Remember, as much as it hurts, there is a light at the end of that hurt.

Start with the age-old mantra.

Move on. Once a cheater always a cheater.

/u/JStheHammer

Get out of there.

By leaving.

/u/bra1ntra1n

Move on from them, and let the toxicity go.

As in with them? no.
As in, eventually with someone else? yes.
Takes a while, but eventually you stop letting those thoughts poison you.

/u/therealdarkcirc

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Do what feels right for you, but let the ultimate healer — time — take its course.

Man, I wish. I went into a shagging spree after my ex cheated on me. I thought it will help but it did not really. Also, I mostly did it for the validation as I was an absolute "no self-esteem" wreck of a man for quite a while.
Unfortunately, the only thing which helps is time. Probably.

/u/_Dainn_

Learn the signs to spot in the future.

You don’t. You just learn from it. If she’s being protective of her phone, home late, never in the mood... she’s running around. The only good that comes from it is that you can spot it sooner the next time.

/u/a-grill-has-no-name

Evaluate the situation from all angles.

It’s all about context and the ensuing behaviour. Did they kiss someone and immediately stop, or did they have sex with someone? Once? More than that? Did they tell you or did you find out? How many opportunities did they have to end the encounter and didn’t, because either they weren’t thinking of you, or they were and didn’t care?

/u/claireashley31

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Don't take it personally or let one person have power over you.

Time and know that her disloyal has nothing with you. My high school girlfriend cheated on me with at least 5 guys. A spent years dwelling on it. That was the worst way to deal with it. Never let one person have that much power over you. Most of realize that people can trusted it may take awhile to find a person you can trust. Just because one girl cheated on you doesn't mean they'll all cheaters just askwomen.

/u/LordCommanderMay

Read a book, seek therapy, try to learn, and accept the hurt.

You don't.
I mean, everyone is different and everyone has different attachment styles. Some people are taught from a young age to not depend on others to survive in this world, while others are given too much love and care which develops very clingy attachment style.
Which is what I am. I'm from a enmeshed family which is mostly seen in Hispanic, muslim, Italian and such families so everyone is in each other's face, privacy, life. So a lot of Codependency is developed and such between each person.
So, when you get older you get extremely attached to certain individuals especially to people you love. So, when they leave you, cheat on you, do anything that is deemed disloyal and hurtful... It's like jab to the stomach. You develop all these weird issues from anxiety, distrust, depression, obsession and etc.
So, for me, you get to a point where you either accept that things are never permanent or let it eat you everytime things go the opposite direction, especially when people want to detach themselves from you, do things that you didn't expect them to do. But, do you get over it? Do you get better? No, not really. You just learn to deal with it in healthier form. But that shit sticks with you, especially if you're a codependent person with an anxious attachment style.
I've read books on how to deal with them and I highly suggest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it really helps you alleviate the negative and unhealthy thinking that comes with such painful moments in your life.

/u/Alukrad

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You just have to stay strong.

It is quite easy if you don't get yourself caught up on the past and blame yourself.
Move on.

/u/Sabahn

When someone you love destroys your trust, it can take a long time to recover. It can make you feel angry and confused, and cause a lot of lasting emotional damage. The good news, though? There are so many valuable lessons to be learned from a broken heart, to help you spot the signs sooner in the future or to learn how to better cope if faced with the scenario again. You've got this.

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