How To Cancel A Date When You're Too Lazy To Go Out
So, weird thing, I faint a lot. It's unfortunate, but it comes in handy — sporadic fainting has pretty much always been my go-to excuse when I need to get out of a date ("sorry, I fainted and can't make it out tonight, TTYL"). But we can't all be so lucky, and I've often wondered how to cancel a date as a person who doesn't lose consciousness on the regs. Especially when you're just feeling lazy AF...
Is there even a right way to tell someone that you'd rather be snuggled up next to your laptop than sipping a gin and tonic and listening to their anecdotes from summer camp? Well, not really in those terms. But there are a few ways to cancel a date without straight-up blowing a person off and eliminating any hope of seeing them in the future. I turned to the experts to find out exactly how to do it.
Here's a step-by-step guide to canceling a date when you're feeling too lazy to go out (for all you crazy kids who can't just blame it on fainting, that is).
Step 1: Make your schedule clear in advance.
If you know you're prone to canceling plans in favor of Netflix-and-chilling on your own, try to manage your date's expectations from the get-go. According to dating guru and relationship expert James Preece, it's always best to make your crazy schedule clear in advance, even if it's not really that crazy.
"Set your schedule ahead of the date — say you're really busy, you've got deadlines this week, etc. That way, it won't seem so out of the blue if you have to cancel at the last minute," Preece explains.
Step 2: Don't wait too long to cancel.
That said, no matter how "busy" you claim to be, canceling five minute before the date is never really OK.
"If your date's in the evening, the best time to cancel is around lunchtime," says Preece. "Don't forget, that person's got a life and plans as well. So canceling before lunch is best, as not to seem really really rude."
And let's be honest, lunch is about the time you'd need to start your five-hour, pre-date prep, anyway, right? ...No? Just me?
Step 3: Keep your excuse simple.
There's no need to weave an intricate web of lies if you want to get out of your date, either. Take it from me — I once canceled plans because I'd legit had to break into my own apartment and was waiting on a window repairman, and not a soul believed me (it was true, friends! I swear!). So stick to a simple, believable excuse if and when you want to back out.
"The best way to do it is to blame work or say you've got the flu and don't want to pass it on," advises Preece. "Don't over-complicate things and lie too much, because if you eventually do meet that person, they might call you out on it. If [the excuse] is easier to believe, it's easier to cover."
Step 4: Apologize (and bribe).
Admittedly, if you're canceling a date out of sheer laziness, you're probably not too jazzed to meet this person. But if you really do want to see them in the future, throw in a few extra apologies and a bit of bribery when you cancel, for good measure.
"When you cancel, try to reschedule in that same text," says Preece. "Make it clear that you're really sorry and would rather be with them than stuck at home or at work, then ask if they're free tomorrow and offer to get the first round of drinks. Apologize with a little bribe, so they know you're interested."
Voila, you're now free to swap a night of pricey cocktails in skinny jeans out for a bottle of two-buck Chuck in your pajamas. Enjoy.
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