5 Annoying Things That May Happen To Your Appetite When Mercury Is In Retrograde

Mercury's wrath has spared pretty much nothing and no one during its latest retrograde period. And with just a little over a week to go in the final Mercury retrograde of 2017, you've probably already experienced many of the lovely (not) effects that this planet bestows upon all of humanity. Personally, I've been feeling unstable and imbalanced AF for the past few weeks. Plus, I've been craving the weirdest food lately, so I honestly can't help but wonder how Mercury in retrograde affects your appetite.

Good ol' Mercury can affect nearly everything in your life, from your sleep schedule, to your communication skills, to your mood, but I never knew this powerful little planet could have such a pull over your palate, too.

Alas, essentially all aspects of your mental and physical health are affected in some small way by each retrograde, so yes, that includes cravings, food decisions, and maybe even gut issues.

So, if you've been tempted to eat an entire roll of raw cookie dough every night since the retrograde began, or you feel like you've been racing to the bathroom far too often even though your diet has remained pretty standard, take some comfort in the fact that nothing's "wrong" with you; Mercury is very likely the culprit behind it all. Here are five ways Mercury's retrograde period could be messing with your appetite.

Deciding What You Want To Eat Will Become Virtually Impossible

Making big decisions, such as accepting a new job offer or entering into a contract, is a huge no-no during the Mercury retrograde. And while you might not think that deciding what to eat for lunch is considered a life-altering decision, it may, indeed, be affected by Mercury.

If you find yourself standing in front of the fridge for a solid 10 minutes with no f*cking clue what in the world you should make to eat, that's just astrology screwing with your head and making seemingly simple decisions become aggressively complicated. Meal prep will probably be your BFF during this time, so plan ahead to avoid frustrations, my friend.

Mood Swings Will Have You Craving All The Comfort Food

Have you ever simultaneously wanted to polish off a sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos while also spooning sauerkraut straight out of the jar? Just me? Cool.

Anyway, mood swings become so real when the Mercury retrograde is in full effect, and you honestly might not feel like yourself for a couple weeks. These constant shifts in your emotions could be leading you to crave sugary comfort foods or weird combinations that you simply can't explain.

You can chalk all of that up to Mercury giving you the appetite of an ultra-hormonal pregnant women. For now, don't fight your cravings, but don't overdo the indulgences either; balance is key!

Ordering Takeout Might Become A Struggle

Proper communication is known to go haywire during each and every Mercury retrograde period. If you've noticed your relationships being plagued by meaningless, trivial arguments, or you simply can't describe why you're feeling what your feeling, that's Mercury working all of its miscommunication madness on you.

That miscommunication might even happen when you're casually hitting up Uber Eats or Postmates for your regular delivery order. When your food arrives at your doorstep, don't be surprised if it's the exact opposite of what you asked for, and fight the urge to fight with the delivery guy. And no, you probably shouldn't sob on his shoulder either.

Take a deep breath and accept that you don't always have control over these things. Besides, food is food, and food is delicious.

Planning Date Night Will Feel Like Doing An Algebra Equation

Having a conversation with bae on where you both want to eat seems simple enough, right? That is, until you actually try to do so, and it's more like an advanced chemistry equation — and that's on a normal day, when the planets aren't totally out of line.

When the Mercury retrograde strikes, don't bother trying to plan date night. It'll probably end with you rehashing some fight that you and your bae had in 2013, and you'll both turn into hangry, unrecognizable versions of yourselves that you didn't even know existed.

Your Digestion Might Be Totally Out Of Whack

During each period of Mercury retrograde, your nervous system can go a bit haywire, thus potentially causing your digestion to be anything but normal.

This is because digestion is controlled by your enteric nervous system, which can be easily affected by stress, even the kind that's caused by all this astrological chaos happening around you. Once stress triggers that part of your body associated with your "fight or flight" responses, your digestive system may decide to stop doing its damn job, or at least stop doing it well. This could mean stomach aches, frequent trips to the bathroom, or much more gas and bloating than you're used to. So, for now, stick to simple foods, and maybe hold off on your favorite spicy takeout until after Mercury's done with this particular retrograde period.

Oh Mercury, what don't you ruin? Let me know when you're done causin' sh*t.