How Far In Advance Should You Confirm A Date? A Relationship Etiquette Expert Weighs In
So, you and your crush have matched on a dating app. You want to see them in person, but you don't necessarily know how to make it happen. There really isn't a magic trick to going on a date, other than asking someone out and scheduling it yourself. If you're curious about how far in advance you should confirm a date, try considering both of your schedules and picking something far enough in the future that it won't conflict with other events, but also close enough that it won't be forgotten about.
"Discussions about meeting typically start after four days of chatting," Meredith Golden, dating coach and dating profile ghostwriter tells Elite Daily. "Actually, meeting can take a bit more time as people get busy and sometimes this means scheduling two weeks out." Golden stresses that the ideal window of planning is within a week because you want to keep the chemistry fresh and make sure that you both are excited about meeting instead of looking at it like an obligation that you have to do.
It can be intimidating to move a conversation from light-hearted chitchatting to meeting up IRL, but ultimately, it can be worth it. Try not to fret about what you say and just be your regular self. Golden says that it doesn't matter whether you're talking with Tinder matches or IRL crushes, because manners are manners, regardless of the medium you use.
"After getting the date on the calendar, suggest connecting the day before the actual date to confirm," Golden says. "For example, if you schedule today to meet Bob on July 31, state in your text or dating app exchange, 'Looking forward to meeting next week. Text me on Tuesday so we can confirm logistics." This can be especially useful if the two of you aren't necessarily texting all of the time. If you set up a date relatively early on, it's OK to refrain from texting your crush until you get closer to the actual date.
It can also be useful to follow up with your date the week before you plan to meet, just to make sure that they have it penciled into their schedule. Perhaps you can tell them that since you like to get a date in the books a bit far in advance, you want to make sure that it hasn't fallen off their priority list. If they mention that they actually can't make it on the day that you had settled on, try not to stress. Suggesting another date can be a great option. If they offer up a date of their own, then work together to find a time that works for both of you. But if they try to cancel the date, even if you're disappointed, it's important to respect their boundaries.
TBH, it's incredible that you're putting yourself out there. Don't underestimate the confidence and vulnerability it takes to schedule a date. The act of doing so is such an important step in the process of dating. And, hey — the person you've been hoping to go out with might just be daydreaming about going out with you, too