Do you ever find yourself re-reading old text conversations with an ex and asking why you keep doing it? You know it's going to hurt, but for some reason you just can't resist scrolling down memory lane. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. "It’s very common," Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach for professional women, tells Elite Daily. While many people do it, looking back over old conversations can be painful, and actually slow down the progress of getting over an ex, she warns. “It’s a bad idea to do so if you’re still not over the relationship, because that can set you back and undo a lot of the work you’ve done on healing," Chong says.
Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast agrees, and says revisiting old texts may make getting over your ex harder because it causes you see to the relationship through rose-colored glasses. "It is not a good idea because the loving texts will just make you miss your ex — as well as possibly make you feel as though your relationship was much better than it was. This is why it’s so important to instead focus on the reasons why you broke up and the bad things that happened during the relationship if you want to be able to heal from it," she tells Elite Daily. However, it’s not just positive texts that hurt, she warns, but negative ones may even be more painful, and even dangerous, to revisit. "If there were some very toxic texts, they can just further erode at your self-worth, which can be especially fragile after a breakup," Leckie explains.
Chances are, if you make a habit of returning to these old texts, none of this is new information. And yet, it's hard to stop. Is it OK to hold on to those texts, or is it healthier to clean the digital slate? I asked the experts what to do in this situation, and here's what they had to say.