Saying that trust is an important part of relationship is hardly a hot take, but despite this being something we know, it's sometimes harder to actually practice it in real life. It's normal to struggle to trust, or have relationships with, people who either haven't earned or have lost our trust. That's because trust can be a lot more complicated than it seems. But you deserve to be in a partnership with someone you can put all your faith in. So, if you need a little extra motivation, listening to celebrities on how they deal with trust in relationships can actually be pretty illuminating and validating — in part because they reaffirm that even celebrities face the same issues that we do when it comes to love and romance.
While I am not someone who looks to celebrities for advice on many areas of my life, trust is actually one where I think they can give unique insight. Because of their statuses and lifestyles, surely they are often surrounded by people with ulterior motives, and, as a result they probably really have to hone their skills when it comes to knowing who to trust. So, when they talk about the role that trust plays in their relationships, it really resonates. Here is what some of my personal faves have to say about the subject.
“He has to be someone who respects you. Then everything is so easy because you give each other credit for your intelligence, you give each other the benefit of the doubt because you trust each other. There’s so much that comes out of that. I think don’t settle for less than that.”
— Priyanka Chopra to PEOPLE
“We have a very healthy marriage and we got there by doing therapy when we needed it, and constantly doing fierce moral inventories… We both take responsibility when we are wrong, and I think it is easy to work with him because I married him, because I enjoy spending time with him, and I trust him.”
— Kristen Bell to PEOPLE
"Marriage is something that needs to be worked on every day… I don't know if I'm the one to give marital advice since I've only been married for a little over a year, but marriage is certainly easier if you are open, trusting, and loving."
— Emily Blunt to NY Daily News
“I think for me, it was a trust thing. We trust each other in day-to-day life for sure, but when you trust each other in this way it’s really different. But the way we went about it was sort of the way we go about our marriage, which is ‘Let’s be really honest. Let’s be honest from the beginning so that nothing surprises us, but we get to say all the things we feel.'"
— John Krasinski to PEOPLE
“Alex. You are like my twin soul. We are like mirror images of each other. My life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that every day, the sky is not the limit. The universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together, with love and trust and understanding. There so much more to do and to experience, and there is nobody I would rather do it with, baby. You are my macho, and I love you.”
— Jennifer Lopez’s Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award acceptance speech
“I love that he challenges me. He’s someone that I trust when he challenges me... That’s nice. It’s nice to have a partner in everything.”
— Blake Lively to E! News
“When I’m getting to know someone, I look for someone who has passions that I respect, like his career. Someone who loves what he does is really attractive. In high school, I used to think it was ‘like sooooo cool’ if a guy had an awesome car. Now none of that matters. These days I look for character and honesty and trust.”
— Taylor Swift to Glamour magazine
“Regardless of how long you’ve been together, you still need to maintain a sense of surprise… Sometimes, when we’re lying together, I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something strong between us. Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that’s it’s important that a partner continues to surprise.”
— President Barack Obama to Le Monde
“Reach for partners that make you better, you know? Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts.”
— Remarks by the First Lady at an event with Elizabeth Garrett Anderson school students in the UK
Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE? Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE… for us???
Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship… this means we have a GROWN one.”
— Jada Pinkett Smith on Facebook
Like I said, trust is complicated. Ultimately, what I take away from these quotes is that while trust is definitely an important building block in your relationship, it's one that you get to define. Follow your heart and trust yourself first, and the rest will follow.
