Here's How To Write Cards Against Humanity Jokes For Money, If That's Your Calling

Whenever I'm at a party that needs a little morale boost, I break out Cards Against Humanity. Heck, I've even taken it to family gatherings, and you know how awkward that can get. I love it, though. Uncomfortable conversations are my bread and butter, and I'm not even ashamed. In fact, I'm pretty good at the game. That's why I was so stoked to find out that Cards Against Humanity is hiring contributing writers for its card deck. The company will literally pay its employees to write inappropriate sayings, and it sounds like a solid career choice. If you agree, you might be wondering how to write Cards Against Humanity jokes for money. It's pretty easy, but you have some brainstorming to do.

In order to apply, you'll need to hit "Apply" on Cards Against Humanity's job listing page (duh). But before you do that, you might want to learn more about the position. The company provides a brief description of the job under its listing, and it sounds too good to be true. The chosen candidates will get paid $40 an hour to write "poop jokes as needed — which is 'sometimes.'" In other words, they'll make good money for coming up with the funniest Cards Against Humanity jokes.

What are you waiting for? Start writing your ideas down. This job was meant for you.

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Once you have your funniest jokes lined up, you can apply for the position. In order to do so, you'll have to fill in Cards Against Humanity's application form. It gives you space to write 15 white card ideas, and five black card ideas. So, start filling in the blanks.

If you're having writers block, check out the White Cards & Black Cards 101 on the listing page. It gives applicants tips on how to write the best white and black cards they can. For instance, a white card should be short, punchy, and able to "come alive in the black cards." According to the page, the white card is only "half the joke," so keep that in mind while you're writing.

A black card, on the other hand, is basically the body of the joke. It'll include a blank space that will be filled in with a chosen white card. The company gives tips about where to put the blank space, and encourages applicants to use it after a preposition or at the end of a sentence. Go figure.

Cards Against Humanity

Hopefully you're able to write hilarious cards after reading the page's White & Black Cards 101. If you're still working on them, you have until Aug. 31 to apply for the position.

According to the website, the company is encouraging people from "historically marginalized communities" to submit applications. According to Cards Against Humanity, this particularly includes immigrants, people of color, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Oh, the company is also looking for hot, single dads... so, there's that.

If you've written the funniest cards possible and applied for the position, you might be lucky enough to write for the Cards Against Humanity deck for a living. I'll look for your jokes next time I play the game.