Loving someone long-distance can feel like it requires a lot of sacrifice. Granted, if the connection's strong between you and your partner, it's all worth it in the end. Still, giving up things like intimacy can be a tough pill to swallow for anyone. Fortunately, modern technology has made that something you don't have to abandon after all, especially if you know how to make FaceTime sex feel more intimate. According to Dr. Megan Stubbs, a board-certified sexologist with degrees in biology and human sexuality, intimacy over FaceTime is absolutely possible. "It's already intimate in the fact that you have to express some vulnerability with someone to do it. You're not just sharing yourself with another person, you're doing it over digital media and you're in charge of what is being broadcasted," she tells Elite Daily.
It might be easy to dismiss sex over video chat as a lesser form of the act, but Dr. Stubbs says not to underestimate its ability to enable connections on a deep and passionate level. "As the name implies, FaceTime sex is a form of sex. It shouldn't be seen as a lesser form of sex, since it's the way many people have been, and continue to, connect with their partners over distance," she explains. With that in mind, here's how the experts say to take your FaceTime lovin' to the next level.
Plan something special for your next FaceTime sesh.
Spontaneous FaceTime sex can be really hot and exciting, but it's not the only way to spice things up long-distance. Dr. Stubbs suggests planning a session as a sort of "special event" to increase intimacy. For example, you can discuss what turns each other on or what kind of sex play you’d like to incorporate into your next session in advance to take things to the next level. “You can be very detailed when it comes to planning your intimate FaceTime,” says Dr. Stubbs. “Maybe you've made a special request to your partner for a specific outfit? Maybe you've decided to engage in some power dynamic play and one of you is in charge of calling the shots? Task your partner in choosing how you pleasure yourself. Take turns building on an erotic story you're acting out and see how creative and hot you feel.”
Take your time to maximize the experience.
Lola Jean, a sex educator and mental health professional, tells Elite Daily that one highly effective way to dial up the intimacy over FaceTime is to slow things down and enjoy each step as it progresses. Her advice is to treat your sesh like a special gourmet meal. “What'll be the main course, the appetizer, dessert, amuse-bouche?” she asks. “Have fun planning your menu ahead of time. For example, a first course of compliments, second course of dancing, third course of striptease, and mutual masturbation for dessert.”
Ways to feel connected, literally, even when you’re far apart.
While you can't touch over FaceTime sex, Jean suggests finding ways to simulate that touch that will improve the sense of intimacy. “Try anything you can do to make you feel more together, like using the same toy, the same lube, drinking the same drink. The little details can be enough to make that steamy screen sex a touch more intimate,” she says. And if you're using tech to connect, why not take that to the next level? “Invest in teledildonics [which are interactive, internet-connected sex toys] and control your person's sex toy with your phone,” says Jean.
It’s amazing how intimate FaceTime sex can be when you and your partner are all-in on the experience. This is why Dr. Stubbs emphasizes how important it is to treat FaceTime sex the way you would and other form of sex when it comes to consent and checking in with your comfort level. “When we're talking about anything sexual, it's important that we mention how important it is to have a partner that you can openly communicate with. Especially with digital sex, having someone that you feel comfortable with and trust is foundational in having a safe, fun, and intimate FaceTime encounter,” she concludes.
Lola Jean, sex educator and mental health professional
Dr. Megan Stubbs, a board-certified sexologist with degrees in biology and human sexuality