Here's How To Avoid The Word "Should" In 2019, Because An Expert Says It'll Just Hold You Back

Let me ask you something: As 2019 inches closer and closer, would you consider yourself to be the type of person who looks back and thinks about all the stuff you should have done, and all the things you should do in the new year? Well, same, friend. But thinking about the should-have's and could-have's in life is kind of a bummer, IMO, not to mention it isn't particularly inspiring. So, as you head into 2019, why not learn how to avoid the word "should" as one of your top New Year's resolutions? According to at least one expert, it might make a huge difference in how your new year actually pans out.

Carol Tuttle, a certified energy healer, expert in personal development, and author of the book Mastering Affluence: 6 Lessons to Create a Life You Love, says the word "should" gets thrown around quite a bit in most people's everyday vocabulary, but from her perspective, it can actually have a sort of low-vibe, negative impact on your willingness to be productive and get things done. According to Tuttle, the more you think about the "should's" in life — you "should" cook more, you "should" go to sleep earlier you "should" pay off more of your debt — the more you just, well, don't do any of those things. In other words, those six little letters can sap your motivation real fast.

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Even when the thing you "should" do is positive, or, in some way, downright necessary to do — whether it's cleaning your car, organizing a room in your house, taking a class, even gardening — Tuttle says you can easily lose motivation with a word like "should" because, "if you're trying to force it," she tells Elite Daily in an email, "you either just won't make the time or have the energy, or you'll probably keep putting it off because you don't enjoy it."

It's often the "unfinishedness" of whatever it is you're trying to do, Tuttle explains, that can weigh so heavily on you and make the idea or project seem impossible to complete. "When it actually comes down to doing it, you seem to have lost all motivation. So, how do you recover motivation to do something you think you should do?"

Tuttle says that the first step to avoiding "the should's" is to be as clear as you possibly can with yourself about what you really want. Forget what other people want, or what you think the world expects of you, she explains.

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"Although [what we think we should do] might all be great choices, until we personally own them for ourselves we will not be motivated to follow through," Tuttle tells Elite Daily.

Once you're able to claim a choice for yourself, and you figure out what it is that you really want, you can then declare your goals and aspirations with "I am" statements, rather than "I should" statements, says Tuttle. It might seem like a subtle, potentially meaningless difference, but according to Tuttle, in doing this, you actually send a pretty powerful message to yourself that you can and will do the things you want — and do them well.

For example, she suggests, think of statements like, "I am working out," "I am eating healthy," "I am debt-free," "I am cleaning that closet," "I am guest-starring on the next season of Riverdale." OK fine, that last one was mine — but you get the point.

Next, says Tuttle, take these beliefs to "an even higher vibration" by not only thinking about your goals as if you've already accomplished them, but also by expressing gratitude for what you've accomplished: "I am grateful for cleaning the closet," "I am grateful I have no debt," "I am grateful I won an Emmy for guest-starring on Riverdale." Easy enough, right?

"Remember," Tuttle explains, "when you declare your intentions, you uplift your energy so it can support you with the motivation to do [what you want] when it is right and timely for you."