What You Should Know Before Hanging With Your Friend With Benefits On Valentine's Day

by Cosmo Luce

Valentine's Day is a day for love, and love has never been strictly reserved for people who are in relationships. Everyone is deserving of tenderness: lovers, friends, and friends with benefits, too. Hanging out with your friend with benefits on Valentine's Day doesn't have to be awkward, as long as the two of you are clear about communicating your intentions. Most misunderstandings come from people who are either being dishonest with themselves or who aren't communicating how they truly feel. If you want physical attention on Valentine's Day, go for it. Don't deny yourself pleasure simply because you're not in a committed relationship.

At the same time, remember that it takes two people to hook up — two people with equally complicated feelings. If you're to proposition your friend with benefits to hang out on Valentine's Day, it's important to be very, very clear with them about what you want. That should be true every single time that you see them, but the timing of Valentine's Day can cause someone to get the wrong idea. If you're asking them to hang out with you because you want something more than what they are offering, be clear with yourself about what they can give you before sending that text.

But if you're sure that you're being honest with yourself, here's what you have to do to get some sexual healing on Valentine's Day, without sending mixed messages:

1. Be Up Front

When you're contacting your hookup, the best way to make sure you're not headed for an uncomfortable conversation is to be perfectly clear about what you're looking for. Even a text that reads with a message as simple as, "Hey, you have plans for Valentine's Day? Since you're single and I'm single, I thought we might as well be snuggle buddies — but no pressure," is a way to clearly convey what you are looking for.

If your hookup buddy responds to your proposition with skittishness, don't be surprised. People are commitment-phobes and suspicious of love in general. Don't let your feelings get hurt if someone else's inhibitions stop them from accepting your invitation. You can always hang out with one of your single friends or have a date with yourself instead.

2. Keep A Sense Of Humor

Laughing is the best way to let off the tension before an encounter becomes uncomfortable. And making a joke of Valentine's Day takes a lot of confidence. If someone has a strong aversion to the holiday, then it's probably because they care too much about a date on a calendar. Remember, if someone has a strong opinion about something — even if it's how dumb Valentine's Day is — they've still spent a lot of time thinking about it.

You can be tongue in cheek with your Feb. 14 fling. Pick up a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers. You can offer to share them with your hookup, or you can keep them for yourself. Give them a box of conversation hearts or propose going out for an actual cute dinner. You don't have to be in a relationship to have a good time, and if they really don't want to be seen out on the town with you, chances are, they're simply insecure. You've got the high ground on this one.

3. Play It Cool

Remember: This is just a hookup. You're not in a relationship, and really, you've got nothing to lose. It's brave to ask for what you want, and if your hookup buddy can't give it to you, it's a case of no harm, no foul. The less you have invested in seeing your friend with benefits on Valentine's Day, the better.

Because if the plans don't happen, there's nothing to stop you from fixing a nice dinner for yourself, eating by candlelight, pouring a glass of wine, running the tub, and treating yourself to a nice, sudsy soak. Afterward, you can have some one-on-one time with your favorite vibe. Now, that's what I call a romantic evening — and you did it all by yourself.

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