Escape From Awkward Situations Over Winter Break With This Full-Body Scarf
Just when I think I've seen it all, life comes full circle and surprises me once more. I own a lot of cold weather items, more than I actually need, but I feel like nothing I have compares to Dukyana's Giant Scarf. This mammoth winter accessory covers your entire body like a tube, and it's ridiculously funny looking, but also kind of utilitarian. Winter is cold and harsh, and who hasn't wished they could just disappear into their scarf? Somewhere in the distance, I can hear Bruno Mars singing Chunky by a very warm fireplace.
I went to college in Connecticut, and I believe you haven't lived until you have to walk across campus in zero degree weather (with a wind chill that brings it into the negatives). If you haven't found the perfect coat to stuff yourself in everyday, this chunky mohair "scarf" looks like it's up for the task. Honestly, I don't know whether to classify it as a sweater dress, or a really long tube sock.
Personally, I'm banking on this scarf/blanket/tube sock as the ideal camouflage to blend into the couch when my relatives arrive during the holidays. Everyone can relate to relatives that stay a bit too long, or ask a million questions about your non-existent love life.
I can't be the only person that wants to physically disappear when their extended family comes into town. Earlier this year, Saturday Night Live ran a fake commercial for the Turtle Shirt. Basically this garment allows you to disappear in uncomfortable situations, which are likely to arise when you're home for the holidays. This scarf is essentially the chic version of the Turtle Shirt.
I love my family, believe me I'm ready to design a house sigil for us all. Love aside, when my extended relatives come to town, I find myself running through all the possible questions that will get thrown my way. I've braved the before-college questions, during-college inquiries and pre-job inquisitions. I truly thought that once I got a job and started the long journey of paying of my student loan debt, some other poor soul would be next.
That wishful thinking was a hard #no. Like where do these questions even come from? Are they prepped? Sometimes answering rapid fire questions from your family, can be more stressful than a job interview. I can't be the only one that feels like I'm entering the loop in Westworld.
Dukyana, a Bulgarian brand, hand-knits the unique oversized scarf, which explains its oversized price-tag. The scarf/tube sock/family protector will set you back $280-$320, but think of all it does for you!
Truthfully, I don't want to get away from my family that badly. If it were maybe half the price, I could justify that. It really does look so soft. At first I thought it was a wool or cashmere blend (which I'm a fan of), but the mohair is what makes it more expensive (more than my Christmas shopping budget).
Mohair is a silk-like fabric or yarn that is made from the hair of an Angora goat. It's supposed to be durable and resilient, which makes it perfect for hiding. On the downside, it has a high luster and sheen, which makes it a bit more difficult to blend into the couch. Apparently, the "Diamond Fiber" of the fabric contains insulating properties, so if you can't pay your utility bill because you bought this scar, at least you won't get frostbite.
Jokes aside, I'd actually purchase during the holiday season if someone made a more wallet-friendly alternative. Zara, where are you my dear old friend?