There are a lot of really exciting things about moving in with your partner. Sharing the same roof and cozying up together in the same same bed every night can make you feel much closer and just generally more committed, because you are truly sharing your lives with one another. However, it can also create a lot of changes in the relationship — some that you expect, and some that might catch you off-guard. But does texting change when you move in with your partner? As Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily, the answer to that question is yes. "Text behavior usually changes when you move in together," she confirms — so don't be surprised when and if it happens.
But why would living together make something as insignificant as how you text, change? Greene says there a several reasons why your old patterns may go out the window when you pick up your new keys. "Since you will be spending more time together, it might feel that texting is not as necessary as when you were apart," she explains, citing one cause. But Greene does encourage co-habitating couples to keep up their textual relations, even when it seems like you see each other and communicate plenty now. "Texting is an amazing way to let your partner know that they are on your mind and in your heart! Keep on sending those GIFs, Bitmojis, and texts to let your partner know that you love them,” she says. That being said, here are some of the ways Greene says your texting habits will likely change once you move in together.
Part of living together and sharing your lives is coordinating your time and activities, so, naturally, Greene says you’re likely to see an uptick in logistical texts. “Since you are more accountable to each other now you might be texting each other more about ‘everyday stuff,’ [like] ‘I’m going to be late coming home because my dental appointment ran late,' or 'Should I bring home sushi or pizza for dinner?’” explains Greene.
If you and your partner tend to send really sweet, romantic texts, that might slow down after you live together. “The lovey-dovey texts might decrease because your partner ‘thinks’ they are not as important now,” she explains. But Greene says if that happens, you shouldn’t be afraid to let your partner know you miss that kind of communication. “This is the perfect time to let your partner know that keeping the romance alive feels good all the time. Just because you are living together, the loving texts and GIFs are [still] just as important as they were before you moved in together,” she says.
Greene also says the opposite can be true, since in some cases, living together may actually make your texting become even sweeter and more effusive. “Since you are now committed to each other, the texts may become even more loving and caring. Make sure that you let your partner know how much their expressions of love warm your heart,” says Greene.
It’s not only the tone and type of texts that can change after you start living together, says Greene, but the frequency of that type of communication. “Sometimes the texting might practically disappear because your partner does not want to feel controlled or under the microscope because you are living together. It could be a way for your partner to demonstrate that they are an individual and not just part of a couple,” she explains.
Again, the opposite can be true too, she says. “Texting could increase astronomically, especially if your partner is the worrying type. Now that you are living together your partner may feel that they have to know your every move so they can be assured that you are safe,” explains Greene. If that all gets to be a bit much, Greene says it’s best to let your partner know how all that texting is making you feel. “You can reassure your partner that you are OK and that you will keep them in the loop” she advises.
For the most part, the changes in the way you and your partner text are pretty benign and normal, but Greene warns there is one texting behavior change to be wary of: “Your partner may want to see who you are texting and what you are texting now that you are living under the same roof.” It's one thing to be curious about who you are texting with, but it's another to demand to know or feel entitled to that information, she explains. “This could be a red flag about your partner wanting to control you and not trusting you.”
While there is no way to know with total certainty the way your relationship will change once you live together, let alone how the way you text one another will change, just knowing that things can adjust and evolve is a great way to be prepared if and when it happens. It helps you be flexible and ready to communicate if those changes aren’t working for you. That way, you can get back to focusing on all the things you really enjoy about shacking up with the person you love.
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