It always takes me a while to know I'm being ghosted. For one thing, I'm on my phone pretty much constantly, but it's unfair of me to assume others are quite as plugged in (I have accused a man of ghosting me after he took a record seven minutes to text back). Also, sometimes people strategically wait a while to respond to a text. I don't usually assume I've been ghosted until I've sent a follow-up text that was also ignored. If you've been in a similar situation and you think you're being ghosted, you might not want to jump to any conclusions. Instead, consider sending one of the following texts to determine if you really are being ghosted or if the other person simply hasn't responded yet.
I personally don't ghost, and I don't love when it's done to me (understatement of the century). Still, there are valid reasons why someone might not respond to a text (and there are even valid reasons why someone might think ghosting is the best strategy, so if you've done it, you don't have to beat yourself up about it). You may not want to give up on someone you like just because they miss one text (although it's also totally fine if you do want to), so if you're looking for a text to send before you decide you've been ghosted, look no further.
Read on to find nine texts to send before calling it quits on a potential ghost.
1. "Hey, Are We Still On For Friday?"
If the two of you discussed plans in person, it doesn't hurt to check in on those plans via text. Sure, they might not get back to you, but you have a concrete activity to check in on.
2. "Just Wanted To Check In"
This is a kind text that also makes clear you noticed they haven't been responding. If they did intend to respond, this is their reminder to do so.
3. "I Know This Is A Double-Text, But"
One thing you definitely don't have to do is apologize. They owe you an explanation or a text, and you don't have to feel guilty about asking for a second one. Still, you might want to acknowledge you've texted already — not as a way to apologize, but as a sign that they should be better about responding.
4. "Hope Your Week Isn't Too Crazy"
You're texting them, after all, which means you're probably giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is possible that they've been too busy to respond, and it's really not about you. Send a text like this to acknowledge that it's sometimes OK to miss text messages, and you're still interested in connecting.
5. "Saw This And Thought Of You"
It doesn't hurt to send a cute meme or an interesting article. If they didn't respond to a previous text, it could be because they didn't know how to respond, and this will give them something more tangible to say. Besides, a salty dating meme may remind them they need to be better about responding.
This is short and sweet and to the point. It's a polite nudge to respond, but it's open-ended, so if they're unsure about where to go next, they have the opportunity to choose the direction.
7. "Are You Ghosting Me?"
I like a straightforward call-out. Depending on the circumstances, you might believe it was wrong for them to ghost. If this is the case, it's OK to just ask — you deserve an explanation.
8. "Hey, You May Be Ghosting, But If You're Not..."
It doesn't hurt to reference the ghosting. It's hard to know exactly what someone's intentions are if you've only gone on a few dates. If you're still open to going out again, you could just say so in clear and simple language. You never know how they'll react, but at least this way, you'll know you tried your best.
9. "Should I Blame AT&T?"
A fun jokey text could be the way to go — people get scattered, and a reminder that also keeps the situation light could help. Besides, it just may brighten their day! And yours.
Getting ghosted can be hurtful, and I personally can't recommend it. Still, it's happened to me, and it might have happened to you, too. It's never your fault if you've been ghosted, but that doesn't mean it's fun. If you think you've maybe been ghosted but you want to confirm, try one of these texts. Maybe it'll reignite things between you and the other person, but if not — you deserve someone who responds to you, and that person is out there!