I Ordered Pizza With My Shoes & Crust Me, What Happened Will Blow Your Mind
If someone gave me the choice of never being in debt for the rest of my life or having a lifetime supply of pizza, I’d straight up pick the pizza. I wouldn’t even hesitate. So when I got the chance to try out a pair of Pizza Hut’s Pie Tops II — high-top sneakers with a button that literally orders pizza for you — I screamed "yes" so loud I scared myself. But I’ll admit, I was skeptical. Do Pizza Hut’s Pie Tops II actually work, or are my wildest dreams of pizza shoes a fantasy?
Well, considering I quite literally inhaled my weight in cheesy goodness Tuesday night, I think it’s pretty safe to say that Pie Tops do, in fact, work. After ordering with the shoes, which come in both red (pizza sauce, metaphorically) and wheat (pizza crust, also metaphorically), my pizza was at my front door faster than any pizza has ever been before, and I’m not even exaggerating. It took 20 minutes. I've had blinks last longer than that. Now, I’m never going grocery shopping ever again. So if you’re lucky enough to get your hands on a pair of Pie Top IIs on HBX (by Hypebeast) come March 19, here’s how to operate those bad boys so you can open your door to the only food that matters.
The first step in the pizza process is to visit PizzaHut.com and create an account. Once you’ve done that, make sure to add a payment method (credit, debit, a gift card, etc.) to your account as well. It makes the whole process run a lot more smoothly, and you’ve got no time to waste. This is pizza we’re talking about. It waits for no one.
Once your account is all squared away, make your way over to your phone’s app store to download the Pie Tops app. (You best believe there’s an app for this, it’s 2018, people.)
Once you open the Pie Tops app, you’ll be asked to sign in. Use whatever credentials you used to make your account on PizzaHut.com for this step. After you sign in, you’ll see the following page:
Pie Tops require Bluetooth to operate, so turn on your phone's Bluetooth settings to pair it with your shoes (a sentence I never thought I would type in my entire life). Once Bluetooth is activated on your phone, hold down the button on the tongue of your right Pie Top sneaker until you’re prompted with a message on your phone to pair the two. As Pizza Hut says in the screenshot below, it may take a sec. Patience, grasshopper.
Once your phone and your shoes connect, you’ll find a new screen where you’re asked to fill in your phone number and choose how you want your button to operate when it comes to ordering your pizza. You can choose to press the button one time, two times, or to hold the button down to start your order. I personally chose to press the button twice because I admittedly lack impulse control and secretly hope I’ll reconsider ordering pizza for the third night in a row after the first press.
From here, you’re allowed to choose the two types of medium pizzas you want to order (for $6 a pop — that's so cheap). I chose cheese and pepperoni because I’m scared of vegetables, but a veggie lover’s pizza and a supreme pizza are also in your Rolodex of options. At this point, you’re ready to press the magical pizza button that makes all of your cheesiest dreams come true.
After getting all of my settings straight, it was time for my own pizza journey. To prepare, I slipped the shoe onto my hand and took this really cute selfie because I came up with a genius tweet to go along with it. This is the first step before ordering your pizza. I don’t make the rules.
After that, I took a deep breath, took the tongue of the shoe in my hand, and pressed the button twice. Then, I waited for two medium pizzas to materialize in front of me. Just kidding, I stared at my phone because I literally didn’t know what to expect at this point.
Immediately after pressing the button, a notification popped up on my phone screen, asking me to confirm my order.
Tapping on the notification brings you into the Pie Tops app to confirm your address. If you allow the app to use your location, it will autofill your address in for you.
Once you enter your address, tap “Confirm Order” and voila! You just graduated from Pie Tops school, and you’re mere minutes away from two hot pizzas being delivered to your front door. The Pie Tops app even has a handy-dandy tracker, so you can impatiently stare at your phone as you’re deafened by the growls of your stomach.
Like I mentioned before, it only took 20 minutes for
my hero the delivery person to show up to my apartment. I had never been so happy to see a delivery person in my life that I’m pretty sure my enthusiasm about this pizza scared him a little bit. IDK. He didn’t really say anything to indicate that, but his face just read, “Damn, chill.” Fair. But I guess I was just so surprised that the Pie Tops not only worked, but worked so quickly.
But, I mean, wouldn’t you be amped for a pizza that looks like this? I’d marry that pie on the spot. Don’t tell my girlfriend.
All in all, Pizza Hut’s Pie Tops not only work, but they work well. The app is easy to operate, the shoes are pretty cool themselves, and of course, the pizza is freaking delicious.
The Pie Tops also feature a non-pizza-related tech feature: You can pair the left shoe with a TV remote. The tongue of the left shoe features a button that will pause whatever you’re watching on TV — ahem, March Madness, anyone? That way, you can pause the big game when your pizza arrives, and start it right back up so you can get to watching... and mostly doing this:
Hopefully, Pizza Hut’s next edition of Pie Tops can order me pizza, pause my TV, and pay off my student loans. Clearly, the possibilities are endless at this point, right?