Cooking With Your Mouth Is The Food Trend That We Never, Ever Asked For

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If you’re as obsessed with the cooking channel and “what I eat in a day” videos on YouTube as I am, I’m sure you’ve noticed some pretty funky things that go down in people’s kitchens. From weird food combinations (chickpea protein shakes, anyone?) to quirky gizmos (like the microwave bacon rack), one person’s trash is another person’s tool of the trade, and if you’ve think you’ve seen it all — prepare yourself. A video showing us the unique, culinary craft of cooking with your mouth is making the rounds online, and the internet isn’t sure whether we should all be impressed or repulsed by this newfound “skill.”

Personally, I have mixed feelings about this because, listen, I love being in the kitchen; I love using my hands to knead dough, using my fancy knives to cut and chop and sear things. For me, it’s really cool to find new ways of utilizing different gadgets when I’m getting creative with cuisine. Knowing that my experimentation led to something valuable is so, so satisfying.

But, again, I’m referring to actual kitchen tools — your George Foreman grill, a juicer, the Magic Bullet. Using your mouth to dice vegetables, de-stem parsley, and break apart bread that someone besides you will apparently eat? That’s just wrong, guys.

The video shows a woman preparing holiday stuffing from start to finish using only her mouth.

Nathan C on YouTube

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for creative license. For some people, cooking is their craft, and who am I to judge someone’s art? If meal-prepping with your lips, teeth, and tongue rather than a traditional fork and knife set is something you’re into, by all means, friend, you do you. But to keep things copacetic, it’s probably a good idea to only try this at home, and not to serve the dish to anyone but yourself — you know, for hygienic reasons.

London-based filmmaker Nathan Ceddia uploaded the video to YouTube just before the holidays, summing up the six-minute clip as a how-to for preparing Christmas turkey stuffing, “using the safety and comfort of your own mouth.” I’m not exactly sure what about this video is meant to be "comfortable," or if chomping on an onion or gargling a raw egg is exactly “safe,” but what do I know, right?

The intro clip focuses on the woman taking a swig of red wine which, one can only assume, is the oral equivalent to washing one’s hands before coming in contact with food. She doesn’t waste any time jumping into the actual meal preparation, as she quickly peels a white onion and goes in for her first bite.

The entire video is, essentially, a play-by-play of this woman chopping veggies, herbs, slicing bread, warming cubes of butter, whisking raw egg in her mouth, and spitting the ingredients into a large bowl. If you're interested in watching the video in its entirety, I highly suggest you hold off on snacking until the end. If you're stomach is queasy naturally, cut your losses and click out.

To say the least, most people were pretty horrified by the video.

Nathan Ceddia

The video was posted to a rapper named Fortafy's Facebook page on New Year's Eve, and with about nine million views, 47,000 mixed reactions, and over 49,000 debating comments to date, the general consensus here seems to be that cooking with your mouth just shouldn't be a thing.

One Facebook user commented,

Another added,

While most people were straight-up appalled by this untraditional cooking method, some Facebook users speculated that the video could be a spoof. One person pointed out,

Regardless of whether Ceddia meant for this project to be a scripted comedy, or an actual tutorial for cooking with your mouth when you don't want to clean utensils, it definitely succeeded in getting a rise out of viewers.

One Facebook commenter summed it up perfectly — funny or not, the concept is gross:

End scene.