I never thought I'd miss all of the racing puns that came with Arie Luyendyk Jr.'s Bachelor season, but lo and behold, the Season 23 premiere's focus on Colton Underwood's virginity has me craving jokes about driving toward love. The first night of The Bachelor will always play up a lead's special quality, but based on Colton's Bachelor season teaser, we'll have to buckle up (hey, Arie!) for even more steamy moments focusing on his sexuality. Time to start this wild ride!
At the end of Jan. 7's live, three-hour premiere, host Chris Harrison gifted us with a new season trailer that opened with plenty of shirtless kissing moments from Colton. Of course, going by these scenes' exotic-looking backgrounds, we probably won't see the majority of these makeouts until the cast begins traveling internationally. However, the footage does promise a pool party at Bachelor Mansion, which has always ended with major drama in past seasons.
The trailer also emphasized the former NFL star's desire to be in love when he finally has sex. In a voiceover, Colton said, "When I lose my virginity, it will be tender, it will be caring, it will be passionate, because I want to be in love the first time I have sex."
That's all very sweet, but what's a Bachelor trailer without tears and screams?
The clips soon segued from steamy to scheming, promising tears from Caelynn, aka Miss North Carolina, about other women not caring about Colton. We can also expect age-related conflict between 23-year-old Demi and 31-year-old Tracy, but it looks like fans may not be able to peg the "villain" title on any particular woman. Several contestants are seen clapping back at each other or an off-camera woman for lying, which the trailer hints will eventually upset Colton.
As for the big twist that has ABC officials calling his season "very different," Colton reveals in the trailer that his only Bachelor goal is to get engaged. He says somewhat ominously:
There are people still here that aren't ready, and that's terrifying to me. My greatest fear in all this is that I'm gonna end up with someone who's not ready to be engaged...I'm here to fall in love and get married. I'm not here to get to the end and be blindsided.
Including a clip of Harrison saying that certain info "changes everything," the trailer continues with plenty of sobbing before showing Colton hugging a mystery woman and saying, "I'm scared." A source confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that the woman is actually a Bachelor producer, marking one of the rare times a staffer is seen or acknowledged onscreen. Colton then tearfully tells the camera, "I've sacrificed and given up everything to have my heart broken. I don't know what the future holds for me."
Let's also not forget the preview's extended look at Colton's infamous fence jump. The lead previously revealed that his unprecedented escape didn't actually happen at the mansion, and ABC's search party footage of dark roads definitely hints at the event being in a foreign location. Unless these ladies really deliver on early-season drama, it looks like we have a long way to go before our biggest questions about Colton are answered.
Here's to getting on board with uncomfortable jokes about virginity! Season 23 of The Bachelor continues on Monday, Jan. 14, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.